Julianna's first day of kindergarten letter

My darling Julianna,

You started school a few days ago. I'm not going to lie....it was probably in my top five worst days of my life. You are only reading this letter after you've gotten old enough not to have real guilt about going off to school and leaving your poor, grieving mother. So I feel like I can be an open book about how I was feeling.

To be honest, when Lily started kindergarten, it was a huge step. It felt life altering, and it was. However, it was also a relief when she started going to school all day. I had a three-year-old and a one-year-old and I didn't have time or energy to grieve too much when she left. I know it was a bittersweet transition when she started kindergarten but I had my hands full and I was okay. Two years later, Drew started kindergarten and it hit me a little harder in my gut. I was pretty sad that first day and you and I may or may not have gone and stalked his first lunch recess time together. We both missed him and it was a little bit harder than with my first. However, I still had you, I told myself. I felt like I would soak up every bit of Julianna time I could (and felt a little guilt for my middle child that never had gotten that day after day one-on-one time that you girls got).

This summer I was dreading the start of school. The summer wouldn't go slow enough and when Lily broke her arm it just seemed to make everything go even faster. We were always looking ahead to the next thing for Lily's recovery and trying to stay positive. This had us always counting down the days and weeks toward no cast....but it was also the countdown to the big start to kindergarten. When it finally arrived, I kept my calendar open. I didn't want to do any crying out in public and I thought my introverted personality would relish the quiet of the first day of school. Boy, was I wrong. I came home and was just so sad. I was pathetic, actually. You were my youngest, off to kindergarten, and I was at home feeling sorry for myself. It was like the rug being pulled out from under me. All of my preparations for this day, all my efforts to not lose myself in motherhood, were lost in my grief. I was suddenly the stay-at-home mom with no one to stay home with. It was just a lot harder than I had expected it to be. You were my buddy, my sidekick. You were a joy to have around all day and I just was wishing I could have even more time with you.

Fast forward a few days and I am better. I'm still a little sad because I am under no illusions about how fast you will grow up now. Starting school seems to put kids on the fast track to growing up. It feels like just a few months ago that Lily was in your position and now she's starting fourth grade. However, I also know that it is the next step in your life and you were more than ready to take it. You didn't know about all of my grief as you took your steps into kindergarten and that's they way I will keep it for as long as I can.

You liked your first days of kindergarten. You are way more shy that I had anticipated. All of your life you have been an expert at making friends and getting along with people. However, as kindergarten neared, you did develop a little more shyness than you'd ever had before. I'm sure that you will warm up and make lots of friends and be just fine, but I hope that it's not with too many growing pains. You are one of the most likeable people on the planet, so I am hoping that you will just get out there and show all those potential friends how awesome you are.

During the first day of school I obviously was in no state to being writing you a letter about going off to school. It wasn't until five days later, today, that I could finally have some perspective on the whole experience. Today we went to the lake and got the boat out for only the second time all summer. You requested a tube ride and during that epic tube ride, and I do mean EPIC, I had an epiphany. Around every turn and spin of the boat, for every bounce the tube hit on the water, you were joyous. I have never in my life seen someone enjoy an experience so fully. You were absolutely present and carefree and happy and filled with pure joy. The look on your face was exactly what I needed to see. That face and those giggles and squeals were what told me that you would be okay. I have nothing to worry about. If you face life with the amount of joy and risk-taking as you did behind that boat, I have nothing left to teach you. You will absolutely do just fine. And I will too.

Thank you, Julianna. Thank you for all the amazing lessons you have taught me. Thank you for your generosity of spirit and your love for life. As you grow, you will teach many lessons to many people. You will teach these lessons just by being yourself and that is something we can both be proud of.

I love you more than words can say.
Love,
Mommy

 

Nature Camp!

Drew went to his first day of nature camp today. It's his first year and it's a camp that both Tom and I loved as kids and then Lily's loved it too. He's been waiting for his turn for quite some time. Some of the employees were excited to see little Drew was big enough to come to camp. He received a nice welcome.

He was a tad nervous. He was asking Lily all sorts of questions about what would happen when he got there and where would he put his lunch. All his nervous questions made me smile because I can relate. The second born has the advantage of quizzing their older sibling before heading into new situations. I know I took advantage of that trick as a kid! My sister even drew me a map for my first day of high school. :)

I made him pose for a picture. He said, "Mom! It's not the first day of school!" Ha

Lily's 9th birthday letter

Dear Lily,

It happens every year of your life. You have a birthday and your mother becomes nostalgic and emotional about it. Your birth was the single most transformative event of my life. Having you changed me to my very core and absolutely centered me for the first time in my life. I tell you all the time that you were the person that made me a mom for the first time. But I hope that you someday understand that it was more than I was becoming responsible for you. It was almost like becoming your mom raised the bar for me. It forced me to raise my expectations for myself and the person I wanted to be. You do not define me, please don't misunderstand. It's not that having you gave me my purpose in life. It's more like your birth made me live my life with more purpose - achieving my goals and living with integrity became more important. Having you made every choice and action I take in life have more weight. I wanted to be more than your mom, I wanted to be your role model.

This year of your life has been a busy one. We have had our ups and downs, as with everything in life. We've learned some hard lessons together, and you've learned some difficult ones on your own. I hope that through all of this, you always feel that your are important and loved in our home. No matter what, Dad and I have your best interest at heart and are doing everything we can to allow for your success. No one can really ever explain the difficulties that come with parenting. And it's hard to imagine that parenting a kid can actually be harder than parenting a baby. It's true, though. I hope that our honesty with you about life and the actions of love we take for you every day help to show you that you are safe and loved and an important member of our family. Every annoying thing that we force you to do, every time we make you angry with our rules, every time we go to battle with you during your morning routine, we are doing it from a place of love - even when it doesn't feel very loving. We are trying every day to be the parents your deserve. We are loving you every moment of every day.

Lily, you are clearly a very special kid with many people cheering you on. You challenge me to be a better person and you very often lead by example in the most beautiful ways. I love your constant love of learning and your curiosity about new things. I love your creativity and your love for teaching others what you know. You are a complex kid with plenty to teach all of your adoring fans. If you do nothing else, please continue to seek knowledge and find ways to use your strengths for kindness. I have no doubt that each challenge you face will be overcome with your sheer determination. That is such a good word to describe you. Determined. You know exactly what you want and you are determined to make your dreams come true. I have confidence that anything you set your mind to will no doubt happen. You are just the kind of person make the loftiest goals a reality by digging into that bottomless well of grit and focus that you have inside. I'm lucky to be a small part of whatever success you achieve.

I love you,
Mom

Lesson NOT Learned

Tom is going out of town for work this week and his hotel is very near a casino. Tom and I are not gamblers so our kids knew almost nothing about the topic. Last night at dinner Tom gave them a little lesson about casinos and gambling. Sometimes I think we should call Tom the Professor at the dinner table because he is an excellent teacher and when the mood is right, he will give little lessons in life as we eat dinner. Sometimes it is about silly topics and sometimes it's about more serious things, like gambling and the dangers of such activities. Last night was one of those nights and after explaining to the kids verbally what it meant to gamble and lose money, he brought out the visual aides. He got the iPad out to show them pictures of slot machines and then he took it a step further and got a free slot machine game to show them how quickly people lose money when playing the slots. We started with 75 pretend dollars and within 5 minutes the kids had each had a turn gambling away all of our "riches".

 After that, I left for a PTO meeting. At some point during my meeting I got a text from Tom: "Lesson NOT learn. We just hit the jackpot." Oops. I guess our lesson about the evils and wastefulness of spending our money on the slot machines backfired....as is the case with most gambling experiences, we should've quit while we were ahead.....and in our case, out of pretend money.

Lily's first day of third grade letter

Dear Lily,

First of all, I have to tell you, it was impossible to narrow down my favorite first day or school picture of you so I had to post them all. You are adorable. And old. And grown up. And occasionally funny. Your morning started rough, but ended on a high note. You were ready to get started on your new adventure.

When you came home from school I asked about your day. Here are some things that you told me:

1. Recess was not fun. No one wanted to play. They mostly just stood around and tried to act like third graders.
2. What is a state that has mountains? And a volcano? And grows apples? And has three syllables. I'm supposed to find out the answer for school tomorrow. (I gave you the correct answer but either you wanted an excuse to get on the internet or you just didn't believe me because you confirmed it with Dad when he got home. It's Washington. I promise.)
3. My teacher has been teaching for 21 years and she used to teach at another school before she taught at mine and this one time a man called and said there was a bomb in the school and so there was a lockdown. But that's the only lockdown that's ever happened to her and it was a false alarm and the guy went to jail and the kids just hid in a closet for a couple hours. (You talked just like that....run-on sentences and all.)
4. We're supposed to bring show and tell. It's supposed to fit into this bag (you hold up a very small paper sack). I think my microscope will fit in this, don't you? (No.) Well, I think I'm going to fill it with like 14 little things and then have a guessing game and then people can guess what I have in my bag. I can just cover it in tissue paper so no one can see inside. I'll ask if I can make it a little game. What do I have that is small enough to put in the bag? (Maybe one of your fossils?) No, I've done that already. (Maybe one of your bones?) Oh, yeah! Good idea! Wait....how will I get them out? (I'm still unsure if you were joking when you said that.)
5. I do not like recess.

Usually my back to school letters are mushy, gushy things. But tonight I just want to remember how awesome you were on this day. It was nice to have a place to send you today so that I could truly enjoy the things that you told me today. I really, really enjoyed being with you this afternoon. I have to say, the last week of summer my patience was thin and I wasn't so nice that last couple of days. It was good that you went to school, had a great day, and I love that you shared so much about your day with me. I'm going to bed tonight feeling grateful to have you around. Grateful that you are growing up to be so awesome. And confident that you're going to have an excellent year.

I love you.
Love,
Mom

Julianna's interview about Tom

Meet My Julianna's Dad

What is Dad's name?
Tom


What does Dad do for fun?
I help him make pancakes


What does Dad do at work?
He works on the road with his friends


What is Dad's favorite thing to eat?
Everything!


What does Dad like to drink?
Milk....I mean beer! He always drinks beer every night.


How old is Dad?
He's the same old as Mommy


Where did you and Dad meet?
Still at the lake


What does Dad look like?
He looks just like his face


How much does Dad weigh?
A lot!


What makes Dad the best?
Playing hide and seek


What is your favorite thing to do with Dad?
Playing


How long have you known Dad?
For a really, really long time

Julianna's interview about Mommy

Meet My Julianna's Mom

What is Mom's name?
Taylor

What does Mom do for fun?



She plays hide and seek with me.

What does Mom do at work?
She doesn't have any works

What is Mom's favorite thing to eat?
Carrots


What does Mom like to drink?
I don't know. She likes everything.

How old is Mom?
I don't know.

Where did you and Mom meet?
At the lake

What is Mom really good at?
Macaroni and cheese and I help her


What does Mom look like?
Like me!


What makes Mom the best?
When I help her.

What is your favorite thing to do with Mom?
Play hide and seek

How long have you known Mom?
For a really long time!

my name

I've been thinking about blogging about the sweet difference in the way my children address me. They each call me something different and it seems to fit with who they are and where they are in life. Julianna calls me Mama and I love it so much. It's the sweetest thing ever to hear, "I love you, Mama." Drew calls me Mommy and, again, the sweetest thing ever and so short lived. I know it's only a matter of time before he only calls me Mom. Lily calls me Mom. She has done this for a very long time. She started calling me Mom while most kids at her age were still saying mommy and daddy. She just is too grown up for mommy now.

I was going to write all about this very thing....until today. Today Julianna started calling me Mom Stivers....and that just doesn't have the same ring to it as Mama.

Oh how I love my children.

Snow Day 2013

Dear children,

 Today is your first snow day in recent memory. The last snow day we had was in April of 2009. So far we have about 12-14 inches of snow on the ground and there is more to come. I thought you guys might get a kick out of reading about this day later. A snow day is one of the ultimate nostalgic days of you childhood.

This morning Drew woke me up and six o'clock a.m. He was quiet for awhile, but started talking at about 6:30 and didn't stop until seven. He spent that thirty minutes filling me in on the Civil War, George Washington, Abe Lincoln, the Revolutionary War, Mount Vernon, and the Statue of Liberty. He kept confusing Lincoln for Washington...but otherwise, he was right on. He told me why Abe had a beard and that it is said that Washington is the "Dad of the United States". No one can say that Drew isn't learning plenty in kindergarten, huh?

I forced you guys to wait until later in the morning before you could go outside in the snow. I said it was because I wanted it to warm up a bit, but really I was stalling so that you wouldn't be done with snow by 8:30 in the morning. Drew and Julianna went out to play in the white stuff a little before 10 and had a great time with the toy dump truck and bulldozer pushing the snow around. You guys stayed out there for almost an hour, I think.

Lily. Oh, Lily; Miss Sensory Sensitive, proclaimed she wasn't going in the snow. But eventually she couldn't resist it and went out in all of her snow gear. She was already annoyed enough with all the snow gear before she stepped outside....so it's not surprising that she only lasted 15 minutes out in the snow. It's okay, Lily. I wouldn't have lasted that long. I hate to be cold and wet. Yuck.

 Once everyone was inside, you guys enjoyed a bit of hot cocoa with a squirt of whip cream on top. It was a huge hit, let me tell you. Lily was also late to join that party, so I didn't get her picture.

I am shocked to report that the TV was not used as a device for distraction until I suggested a movie after lunch. You guys have kept yourselves busy with other things, and actually have been getting along quite well.

Yesterday I was maybe dreading this day just a bit...it was only because you guys came home from school and bounced from ceiling to floor for 3 straight hours. And because I caught Drew drinking honey from the honey bear. And everyone was screaming and fighting with each other. However, you guys have pleasantly surprised me. We've had a good day so far. I think the next thing on the agenda is for us to bake a cake.

Much love on this snow day,
Mom

Memories from today

This is just a post so that I can remember the little things that were happening to us in life.

Drew was making phone calls with his play phone. He spoke with a man name Harold and another man named Larry. He was giving orders and told Larry to swab the decks. We do not know anyone by these names, and they are so out of the ordinary for a kindergartener to know, that it struck me as funny.

Julianna has been showing signs of being able to read for awhile now. She has obsessively been writing her letters whenever she has a pen and paper. Last week she wrote her first word independently. And I don't mean just writing letters I tell her to make a word. She actually sounded out a word herself and wrote it down without my help. The word was 'pan'. Since that day I have noticed that she can remember the short vowel sounds for a, e, i, and o. Yesterday I wrote about three dozen short vowel words on a piece of paper and she sounded out and read every single one of them. This seems totally crazy to me...but I'm looking forward to seeing what she figures out next.

My children are all about running lately. I went for a run first thing in the morning yesterday and when I got home they wanted to run too. They like my treadmill more than I do and Lily ended up running 1.4 miles on it yesterday. There is a running club for kids 8 and older and I'm thinking it'd be a good club for Lily to join. She needs practice making friends and the running could be a natural help for her ADHD. The other two children ran too, but not nearly as much. I'm ready for the long, warm summer days where all they do is run and play.

Tom finished up a big part of a painting project on Sunday. He has all the walls and the trim in the living room painted. The next step is to finish the second coat on the ceiling. He is currently building himself some stilts so that he can move more easily while painting so high up. I'm looking forward to getting my furniture back in the room to see how it looks. I'm being patient though -- and grateful to Tom for all his hard work. Tom is a very careful painter and I think it looks great. We have lived here almost two years and I'm so excited that we have started some of the projects that will make this house look the way we want our home to look. It's not going to be an overnight thing, but when we're done, it's going to look great. :)

The full report

Dear Reader,

The good news is: I have migraines.

I had my appointment today with the specialist. After a full examination of my eyes and asking me lots of questions, she announced that my eyes are perfectly healthy and that the eye trouble I was having were actually migraines. I know that this doesn't sound like good news, but it is. When thinking back to what it could have been, migraines are easy. I am looking forward to finding ways to manage the migraines with some lifestyle changes- like no more caffeine.

In other news regarding my eyes, the doctor did say that the surgeries I had as a child usually work for about 15 years and then the eyes start to drift out again. I do have some trouble with this, however she did say that if I do Drew's eye exercises then my eyes should stay straight for longer. I also learned that eventually having glasses again is inevitable. I can deal with that. After the news I got today, I feel pretty good about just about everything.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me during this time. It was a stressful ordeal that I'm happy to say is over. It is always nice to be reminded of all the amazing people and family I have in my life if I ever need anything. Thank you so much.

Love,
Taylor

On the 100th Day of School

Today on the 100th day of school, my children had the perfect morning. They got dressed, ate breakfast, and had hair and teeth brushed with no problem. It was a lovely morning. I thought that since the 100th day is a day to celebrate, I would give a report on how things are going at school.

Lily hasn't missed a day of school. She has worked hard this year to make good choices at school. She recently went through a medication change and tried her darnedest to do well at school without it. She gave a valiant effort, but in the end we saw that she was truly benefitting from the medications. She did get a new one and it's working.

I heard from Lily's teacher a few days ago that Lily is doing very well at school. Lily's teacher is proud of Lily's improvement when it comes to working in groups. She told me that she usually puts Lily in pairs to work so that she doesn't become overwhelmed. However, last week Lily worked seamlessly in a group of FIVE students. She was a member of the team, she allowed others to contribute, and at one point they were all drawing on the paper at once. I am so proud of her!

Drew has also not missed a day of school. He loves it so much and loves having so many friends to play with everyday. He has recently started reading books independently, and asking for more at his level. This is a huge deal because early in the year I could  barely get him to read the required 3 page books sent from school. At first I thought maybe he was having trouble because of an inherited learning disability; but I think he was actually having trouble because of an inherited eye problem. He has been doing eye therapy for two months and the change is amazing. Obviously, because he loves to read by himself now. :)

Yesterday, on day 99, Drew lost his first tooth. He was so proud that he had pulled out himself at rest time. He said all the kids wanted to come and see the tooth after he'd pulled it out. I don't know what the chances are, but so far two of my children have lost their first tooth in Mrs. Law's kindergarten class instead of at home. He was excited to put the tooth under his pillow and wake up to some shiny quarters.

Julianna has not gone to school 100 days, but she is doing wonderfully and loves school. She is keeping me laughing and testing her limits just a bit. I love being home with her these last two years before big kid school. It's such a blessing.

Stivers Summer Camp

My friend Lindsay sent me a blog link to a mom who had made up her own summer camp for her kids. This has made me so excited for summer. I am seriously considering doing a modified version of her idea. I love summer time anyway and I think my kids are old enough to do something like this. I'm not saying we will not be signing them up for any activities in the community-- just much less than I did in summers past. We are going to have our own fun at home.

The way I plan to spend several weeks of our summer is on a planned schedule. I'm hoping to have the kids help me to plan the weeks in advance so that I can get what we need ahead of time. And who doesn't love knowing what to expect?

This is how our week will go:

Make it Monday-- this is the day we might make cookies, or a fort, or a volcano. Whatever the projects that the kids have been thinking about. Be sure to make suggestions of what we can make if you have some!

Take a Trip Tuesday-- this is the day of the week that we will be taking our trips to the park or the museum or taking a road trip to see something fun. The trips I'm most looking forward to are our day trips to the farm to see my grandparents. (Who happen to be celebrating 58 years of marriage today!)

Wet Wednesday-- Wednesdays are the day for the pool or the water park of the sprinklers. It's the day we might spend the afternoon at the lake with a picnic.

Thinking Thursday-- this day is planned for learning about things the kids have been thinking about and want to learn more about. It might be birds or weather or basketball. Whatever it is, we will choose one thing each Thursday to think about. I think this will be our library day for us to get books about what we're thinking about. We will also use the internet to find interesting things about what we're thinking about that day. I'm looking forward to those dinner conversations!

Friend Friday-- Friend Friday is the day that all the kids get to chose a friend to have over for the afternoon. I'm hoping that with everyone having someone to play with, it will lessen the fighting over attention with our guests. I rarely let the kids have friends over so I know that this will be a special treat for the kids.

I know this may seem way too structured for the average family during the summer months. However, the children and I do so much better with something planned and expectations set. We are all already looking forward to Stivers Summer Camp!

Outtakes of the Family Photo Shoot

 



These are the outtakes from our recent family picture session. We didn't hire a fancy photographer because it was last minute, for fun, and we wanted to try out my sister, Aunt Flash's, new camera. We took the pictures at the shop of Johnson Sheet Metal, my dad's family business since 1921. It was lots of fun and we got some great shots. Julianna (I know she wants to be called Jae, but I'm going to secretly call her Julianna for as long as I can...but that's another post.) Anyway, Julianna gave us the best outtake faces. She is one expressive child!



 

 

 

This is what we did when we were told to be goofy.

My sister accidentally turned on her automatic picture feature and it took 10 or so pictures right in a row. Julianna and I decided to be goofy for all the pictures.

There could be a whole book of Julianna faces. She is possibly the most expressive person ever.

Aren't we so funny?

Someone said something hilarious.

This is Tom's favorite picture of me from the day. Don't I look cool?

I don't know where Lily learned this goofy face.

I love this picture.

I guess this is where Lily learned that goofy pose from earlier.

Oh, Julianna!

I hope we take more time to take these family pictures. They are priceless. They will look great in the next edition of my blog book. My goal is to turn each year of the blog into an actual book. I love the idea of having a collection of my writings in an actual book for my children to hold onto and read in the years to come. Actually, they aren't really allowed to read the blog yet. I'm not always sharing things on the blog that they are ready to read about. They will have to wait a few years before they can see what Mom really thought about this stuff. :)