Julianna's 6th birthday letter

Dear Julianna,

My darling sweets, you're another year older and another year wiser. This was a big year full of big changes. You started kindergarten and were immediately challenged to be your own person. You did not back down from who you are and very directly dealt with the peers that challenged you. Your peers' doubt about who you are never even went past the first day of school. I admire that about you, as I am someone who was more concerned about the opinion of others for much too long...and especially at your age.

You are having a good year at school. You have tons of friends and lots of fun. You get a wee bit distracted and lost in your own world occasionally, but really, who am I kidding? That is going as expected. You may have gotten that tendency from yours truly. Right now you're not getting too distracted to get along okay with your teacher and your fellow students, but you might want to think about how to better notice what's going on around you. It will become an important skill as life goes on....speaking from experience.

This year you have done a bit more testing the limits in the parenting department. Interestingly, you try really hard to be stubborn, but it usually ends up that you don't give up the fight, but get distracted by something and forget the fight instead. On a recent morning Daddy and I told you if you didn't get dressed then you would wear your pajamas to school that day. The pajamas you were wearing just happened to be the clothes you had worn the day before, still on because of the attempted stubbornness from the bedtime battle from the night before. So, because you just don't get too worried about things like that, Daddy and I lost that battle with you. While our point was that if you don't get dressed in the time allotted in a morning, you will run out of time and have to wear something embarrassing to school. However, you didn't care one little bit. Not one. You wore yesterday's outfit to school with no problem and without lick of shame or embarrassment. Not that we were shaming you.....but girl, you just didn't care. Point: Julianna.

You continue to be completely happy and laidback about most things. You love to sing and play and make people laugh. You love to chat to yourself and write and play alone outside. You also continue to love to play with Lily or Drew....but never Lily AND Drew. I get that....the dynamic isn't an easy one when you three get together sometimes. You often are a willing student in "Lily's School on Life, Handwriting, and Math" and you are also usually a willing participant to "Drew's School of Basketball, Football, and Wrestling" as long as the injuries stay to a minimum. That said, you were grateful Drew got a tackle dummy for Christmas so that you didn't have to be tackled by him so much anymore. (I'm working on stopping his habit of injuring you. Promise.)

What can I say, sweet one? You are just so fun to have around, so easy to be with. We are so grateful that you are a member of this family. You bring a much needed shot of joy to our family unit and we love you very much. Please keep on keepin' on when it comes to being yourself. Dad and I will keep cheering you on and supporting you from our front row seat. We love the view from here. Thanks for everything. I love you.

Much love,
Mommy

 

Lily's 9th birthday letter

Dear Lily,

It happens every year of your life. You have a birthday and your mother becomes nostalgic and emotional about it. Your birth was the single most transformative event of my life. Having you changed me to my very core and absolutely centered me for the first time in my life. I tell you all the time that you were the person that made me a mom for the first time. But I hope that you someday understand that it was more than I was becoming responsible for you. It was almost like becoming your mom raised the bar for me. It forced me to raise my expectations for myself and the person I wanted to be. You do not define me, please don't misunderstand. It's not that having you gave me my purpose in life. It's more like your birth made me live my life with more purpose - achieving my goals and living with integrity became more important. Having you made every choice and action I take in life have more weight. I wanted to be more than your mom, I wanted to be your role model.

This year of your life has been a busy one. We have had our ups and downs, as with everything in life. We've learned some hard lessons together, and you've learned some difficult ones on your own. I hope that through all of this, you always feel that your are important and loved in our home. No matter what, Dad and I have your best interest at heart and are doing everything we can to allow for your success. No one can really ever explain the difficulties that come with parenting. And it's hard to imagine that parenting a kid can actually be harder than parenting a baby. It's true, though. I hope that our honesty with you about life and the actions of love we take for you every day help to show you that you are safe and loved and an important member of our family. Every annoying thing that we force you to do, every time we make you angry with our rules, every time we go to battle with you during your morning routine, we are doing it from a place of love - even when it doesn't feel very loving. We are trying every day to be the parents your deserve. We are loving you every moment of every day.

Lily, you are clearly a very special kid with many people cheering you on. You challenge me to be a better person and you very often lead by example in the most beautiful ways. I love your constant love of learning and your curiosity about new things. I love your creativity and your love for teaching others what you know. You are a complex kid with plenty to teach all of your adoring fans. If you do nothing else, please continue to seek knowledge and find ways to use your strengths for kindness. I have no doubt that each challenge you face will be overcome with your sheer determination. That is such a good word to describe you. Determined. You know exactly what you want and you are determined to make your dreams come true. I have confidence that anything you set your mind to will no doubt happen. You are just the kind of person make the loftiest goals a reality by digging into that bottomless well of grit and focus that you have inside. I'm lucky to be a small part of whatever success you achieve.

I love you,
Mom

Drew's birthday letter, Age 7

Dear Drew,

My, have you grown up a lot this year! I have to say, turning seven is a big year. You are not a little kid anymore. You've moved into the big kid spot and it shows. In some ways you are really showing your Stivers boy stripes. You are go, go, go all the time. Always trying to one up the gross factor, or the obnoxious noise factor, or the body-slam-your-sisters factor. What do I mean by Stivers stripes? Well, let me be honest, your dad and his brothers were known in childhood for being a bit rowdy when they got together. Well, who am I kidding? They are still known for getting rowdy when they get together. Grandma's lamps and furniture and ceiling fans can attest to this fact. Anyway, you don't have brothers to get wild with, so you try to toughen up your sisters and needle them into firework reactions. It's what you do when you're bored. The thing is Drew, you do not know your own strength and power. I have recently been on a mission to help you stop jumping on people full force or body slamming small people to the ground. You don't realize it, but one of these days, you're going to break someone and that sweet, sensitive heart you have will be broken. Why don't we try having a more gentle touch? It'd be good for you all around.

Speaking of your sensitive heart, I should really not go this whole birthday letter without mentioning it in more detail. Despite your rough and tumble ways, you really do have such a kind heart for others. This weekend you were hand making your valentines for your classmates. First of all, you were given the choice of hand making valentines or store bought and you chose to make each one for your classmates. Anyway, you spent time on each one thinking of each friend and what they like while making them their own personal card. That is such a thoughtful, kind way to be, Drew. I hope that you remain so thoughtful as you grow.

Every night at bedtime I tuck you in and we have a snuggle. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to have this time with you, but I cherish it. Every night during this time I ask you what your favorite part of the day was. And every night you tell me one good thing about your day and then you tell me, "This. This is my favorite part of the day. What was your favorite?' Not only do you make my eyes misty with your answer about how snuggling with your mom is your favorite, but you are also sweet enough to extend your kindness by asking me about my day. That is a very lovely example of you being such a kind, grown up kid. It's nice of you to ask me about my day. Thank you.

So, mushy with the birthday letter again this year. What can I say? I have great kids that are easy to love. I will continue to enjoy being your mom (on the days that you've gotten enough sleep!). You are growing into a fine young man and I am so proud of you.

 

 

Love,
Mom

Julianna's Fifth Birthday Letter

My dear, sweet Julianna,

Happy birthday, darling girl. It's going to be hard to write you a birthday letter without filling it with clichés. You are just such a fun, hilarious, joyous kid that I don't know where to begin.

This year you are still figuring out who you are - apart from your siblings and their opinions. You love to play house and babies but are determined to fit into the mold of tomboy. The more Lily makes a big deal about how you should be wearing tutus and sparkles, the more you wear flannel and cowboy boots. But when you forget that you're trying to stay a tomboy, sparkles you love. My darling daughter, you are going to be awesome whichever way you go.

You and I have had lots of time to spend together, this our last year with you not in regular school. You are so easy to be with everyday. Sometimes we play hide and seek or Chutes and Ladders, and sometimes you like me to leave you to your 'work'. This is when you sit at the kitchen table with tablet and pens and spend hours writing and drawing and talking to yourself. This activity has always been your favorite thing to do. You are so easygoing and happy about what you have your were nearly impossible to Christmas shop for this year. This is a good way to be. I am wondering to myself as I write this, if it is this activity that lead to you teaching yourself to read. Yes, it's true. You've taught yourself to read. It is such fun to listen to you read and figure stuff out.

It is a breeze being your mom and usually the only trouble you give me is when you are stubborn about going to bed or buckling your own seatbelt. Seriously. Those two issues are the most difficult behaviors we see from you. We are keenly aware of how lucky this makes us as your parents. Parenting isn't considered an easy job, but you really do make it seem like a cinch. You are funny and thoughtful and loving and kind. You are friendly and polite and will often concede a near argument with your siblings or parents just to make our day easier. You are a joy and everyone who knows you is lucky to have you around.

So clearly it is impossible to write you a letter about your life without getting sappy and sounding like a cliché. You are everything I say you are and so much more. I have no doubt as you grow and change you will continue to spread joy wherever you go. I love watching your life unfold. I'm thankful for my front row seat. I love you.

Love,
Mama