Old Yeller

If you are currently a parent of children that live in your house...do you yell at them? Be honest!

I never yelled at my children until I had a three year old. I was calm cool and collected up until that point. But, something about a three year old with the language to argue and opinions about life, make it extremely difficult to not be frustrated or loose your temper. For example, this morning, I was trying to get everyone out the door on time. Today the weather is 39 degrees and windy. I wanted Lily to wear socks with her shoes and Drew to wear his coat. Both were a battles that made my voice rise. Ultimately, the both complied. However, not because I was yelling, but because I was being more stubborn than they were. What does that mean really? To me it means that if I just stick to my guns, keep my tone level, and don't get sucked into an argument, that I would win every time without raising my voice.


Honestly, I don't yell because it gets better results, nor do I yell because it makes me feel better...it just comes out. If a child is not following directions, or arguing with me, yelling has never gotten me the results I desire. So, my question is, why do we yell? (I don't have an answer, I'm just asking).


I don't ever want to be a screamer parent. I usually only yell under extreme stress. But I do yell. I don't want to be known as the mom that looses her cool. I want to be known as the firm, patient parent; by my children and fellow adults. So far, I have only yelled at them in the confines of our little house...and I hope to never be to the point that I'm screaming in public. Have you ever heard the screamer parents in the grocery store or at a restaurant? Whenever I do, I wonder to myself what it must be like at home. Because if they are yelling this loud at their children in public, what is happening at home? It's gotta be way worse at home!


I hope blogging about this downfall of mine will help me to hold a higher standard for myself. Now that I'm being honest about my parenting style, hopefully the yelling will disappear and be replaced with a calm, but firm attitude. On occasion, I have been known to remain completely calm under stress, really, I have. I am aware, while typing this during the quiet of nap time, that it's a child's job to learn and explore. It's my job to remain calm and teach by example.

Style Series

Lily has made some very interesting choices regarding fashion recently.


Looking pretty spiffy!

New Day

Yesterday was a bad day. Not for any particular reason, just long and boring. Today has been the opposite, for which I am grateful! The thing about being a stay at home mom is that everyday is different, but painfully the same. It may not have sounded like it yesterday, but I am so grateful to be in a position to choose between staying home with my kids or getting a job. What freedom this gives me in life. I know that not everyone has the choice...some moms and dads, no matter what, have to have a job to make ends meet. It is not lost on me that my position is a great privilege.



Today's afternoon has been typical; much like yesterday. However, having such a productive morning has made it easier to make it a productive afternoon. I have sorted clean laundry (that has been sitting in a basket in our living room for well over a week), I ran the vacuum in the bedrooms, and I'm not nearly as annoyed today as I would have been yesterday, that sweet Drew is not taking his nap.



Thank you to all my readers for giving me a place to vent all the crazy feelings one feels as a stay at home parent. Blogging just may be the activity that gets me through some of my crazy afternoons. (As I type this, Drew is in his room screaming that he doesn't want to take a nap...and here I sit blogging away! Awesome.)

Sometimes

Sometimes my life feels like an episode of I Love Lucy.

In my opinion, the best part of being a stay at home mom is the fun activities you get to do with your kids. You get to be the one to take them to Story hour at the library, drop them off and pick them up from school, take them to playgroups and various community activities. That's the fun part. Making friends with the other moms that are out and about with their kids. Running here and there experiencing their childhood with them. Getting to do those things with my kids just about everyday of the week, makes it fun for me.

Sometimes, however, I'm so bored staying home with my children that I dream of finding a job. Getting bored and unengaged isn't good for anyone, but I've found that nothing can really combat this heavy feeling. I just happens sometimes. I often wonder if my kids would be better off at a high quality daycare than home with a mom who gets SO BORED. At least at daycare they would be busy learning and engaging with peers. At home, unless we are out and about, they are pretty much on their own a lot of the time. I do make them their meals, and provide structure within their day, but when it comes to entertainment? They are on their own. Is this really a good thing? I don't really know.

I admire working moms who hold everything together. I know that even if I found a job, I would still have to keep up with the laundry, the cleaning, and the cooking. That doesn't go away with a job. However, if I had a job, I might find something for myself there. I don't feel like I have something for myself right now. Yes, I love being with my kids doing playgroup and gymnastics. But, I'm just so bored most of the other time of the day. Does anyone else secretly feel this way? Because I know I'm not finding the joy in cleaning up sticky peanut butter messes and spending another long winter afternoon with nothing to distract me from going insane.

Constant Love

If you can see my face, Tom is about to stick a HUGE piece of cake in my mouth.

Pictures of us together over our whole lives.

Just a cool picture.

Our Wedding Day October 8, 2005

This month Tom and I celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary. On one hand, it's hard to believe that we've been married for that long. And on the other hand it seems like we've always been married and creating this life together. I know you've heard it all before, but I count myself to be one of the lucky people that gets to spend my life with my best friend. Gag. I know. However, if you knew us, and knew our history, you would understand that this has been a long time coming. We had to get through many things together and separately, to make it to the point of choosing each other forever.

Tom and I met when we were just 9 years old. Yup, that's right. I've known my husband for nearly 20 years! What a lucky thing, right? Anyway, it's a sweet story. My family and I moved in down the street right at the end of 3rd grade and soon after that, Tom's more social little brother was introducing himself to my little brother in our driveway. Strangely, I remember that day quite vividly. Tom was wearing his "Where the Cool Go to School" Kansas University sweatshirt. My first thought about Tom? I thought he screamed like a girl. Really, he did.

We were on swim team together during junior high school and high school. Through swim team and high school we became very good friends. He has been one constant in my life. We spent lots of time together attending some high school dances together, making Taco Bell runs, and Tom even came on some vacations with my family.

My point? We were friends. The good kind. The no matter what kind. Which was good, because after high school? I went a little crazy. Not the unusual kind of college crazy with drinking and parties. What I did that was crazy? I started dating silly guys and entering unhealthy relationships. I even got married. It's not something that I talk about often, because of the chaos that it reminds me of. However, I will stop short of calling it a complete mistake because during that time, I also got pregnant. And from that point on, I was forever changed. Becoming pregnant changed me so deeply, that I left the unhealthy, unsafe marriage not just for myself, but for my baby.

I'm sharing all of this because despite my silliness and unhealthiness Tom remained a constant. Maybe he wasn't present for all of it, but he was a constant nonetheless. Like a compass. A haven. The no matter what kind of friend.

Our relationship developed several months later. I had Lily. Having her changed me even more. I grew up the moment she was born. My life became bigger than myself at that moment. The maturity that came with having Lily, I like to think, prepared me for finally falling in love with Tom. I wasn't ready before that. I wasn't ready for a healthy, safe, amazing person like Tom before she was born. She is the reason I was able to be apart of a grown-up relationship.

We were married only a few months after beginning a dating relationship. Four months to be exact. Tom was working long hours on the road and I was also working. We had a lot of growing pains in that first year. It was stressful, but completely worth it.

During our four years of marriage, we've been through an adoption (Tom adopted Lily in 2006), buying a house, many home improvement projects, and the addition of two more people to our little family. I fall in love with Tom more and more as life goes on. I never, ever forget what had to happen to get here. He has always loved me for who and I am, before I even knew who that was.

Wordless Wednesday: Lily the Lamb, Halloween 2006

Honored

The most amazing thing happened today. Well, first of all, my good friend Myca gave birth to a beautiful and long awaited baby girl, Lauren Marie, who was born at 6 AM this morning. She is gorgeous and amazing and I am so happy for Myca and her husband John.

The happiness I feel for John and Myca could be an entire post long, but, selfishly, I want to tell you about what Myca shared with me this morning.

Everyone knows how I feel about breastfeeding. I have breastfed all three of my children for several months, and although it was really tough to do, I would do it all over again. It is an amazing thing to share with your children. You can read about my struggle with having to stop here and here. I had to stop nursing, most recently, because I had such a serious case of postpartum depression that my doctor wanted me to take some stronger medication that I couldn't take while I was breastfeeding. It was with a heavy heart that I stopped just three months ago.

Ever since Myca found out that she was pregnant with this baby she and I have talked about her desire to breastfeed. Since very early on in her pregnancy our friend Andrea and I have shared as much information as we could as well as stories of personal experience with Myca so that she could feel as prepared as possible for that part of parenting. Andrea and I have shared with her the good, the bad and the ugly hoping that knowledge would make the process easier.

Today, I was so lucky to be one of the first people to visit Myca and the baby. Like I said, she was born at 6 AM and I was on my way to the hospital at about 9:30! I'm crazy, I know. Myca really did say it was alright that I come. Really, she did. :)

So, anyway, when I first held the baby she cried like she was hungry. I gave her back to Myca and asked if she'd had a chance to nurse yet. She said she had, but only for a little bit. I asked if she wanted me to leave while she tried again and she told me it was okay to stay. Then Myca did the most amazing thing. She let me help her to get the baby latched. I know that might sound weird to some people, but I am so honored that she shared that with me. Nursing your baby is such an intimate thing and Myca let me be a part of that. Amazing. Thank you, Myca.

Birds

Is anyone else totally freaked out by the creepy birds that congregate in parking lots?

Things I don't want to forget about my children

When Lily first started talking she would say, "I want it. I need it. I love it."

Julianna growls at you when she likes something she's eating and you're not feeding it to her fast enough. It kind of goes AAAHHHRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

Today I was changing Drew's diaper at the cabin. I had to run out to the truck to get the extra diaper and when I came back he was nowhere in the cabin! I searched and searched and finally found him, naked from the waist down, in the barn.

The Art of Distraction has always worked as a discipline technique for Lily. However, Drew responds better to humor.

Julianna kicks her legs uncontrollably whenever she is excited about something.

One time Lily was talking to herself on the toilet while she was going Number 2. She said to herself, "Oh! It's a big one!"

Once, when I was tucking Drew into bed for the night, he thanked me for making dinner. He was only two. What two year old thanks anyone for making them a meal?

Last night at dinner Lily said to Tom, "I'm sorry Drew doesn't love you, but I do, so it's okay."

Planting

This is Lily when she was two years old, picking daffodils in our front yard. The daffodils were here when we moved in; but last year then didn't bloom. Today I'm hoping to thin them out a bit so that we can get flowers in the early spring. I love when the daffodils start to pop open because, for me, it's the sign that spring is starting.

Today Lily and I planted Crocus and I also have some Hyacinth to plant at some point. I can't wait to watch them come up in the spring. What a lovely thing to look forward to after the cold dreary winters we have around here.

GET UP!

The rule at our house? Stay in bed until 7 AM. Lily has a clock in her room and we taught her many, many months ago to stay in bed until the first number on her clock said seven. Some people may see this as child abuse, but I'm not a morning person and it's just better parenting to wait until my brain is working before I'm up and around with the kids.

This morning Drew came and crawled in bed with me about 6:30. He laid with me for awhile, but after a bit he was done waiting! He wanted his breakfast. I stalled...I told him that the clock didn't say seven yet. I told him, "See, it says six-four-eight...we're waiting for a seven." Drew grabbed the clock and studied it for a minute. Then very seriously, he said, "It says GET UP!"

How can a person argue with that? It was time to head to the kitchen and get him his damn rice krispies! Some day they will be teenagers and I will be fighting the opposite battle. Some day I will be saying to Drew: The clock says GET UP!

Wordless Wednesday: Style Series

Wordless Wednesday: Style Series

Keep your fingers out!

Lily is sick. She is feverish, with a sore throat, earache and headache. Generally, just feeling crummy. I hate when the kids are sick. I feel so bad for them and want to do anything to make them feel better. But, also, when the kids are sick we are prisoners in our house. No one can go anywhere if even on child is sick. So, I hope she's feeling better by the end of the day today...this is day three. Wish us luck as we survive another day. It's time to get creative to keep these kiddos busy!

On a lighter note, Lily told me that she's going to stop putting her fingers in her nose and mouth so that she will stop getting sick. Good job, Lily! HOWEVER, just as I was typing this I glanced over to her and she was chewing on a finger. I told her to get her hands out of her mouth and she informed me that this was the last time she was going to put her fingers in her mouth, chew her fingers and toes, and put her fingers in her nose. We'll see.

Wordless Wednesday: Same Age, Different Baby

Drew at just about 9 mths. 10-5-07






Julianna at 9 mths. 10-6-09





I wish that I had a picture of Lily at 9 mths. for this blog, but all of those pictures are saved to my parents computer. Still fun to compare!

Lots to say

It's too bad that I wasn't brave enough to start a blog when Lily was a baby because I could have been documenting their lives with way more detail. You just never think you're going to forget what they did that was funny, or what they liked to eat when they were babies, but you do. You forget most of it. Julianna was just born when I started this blog so I'm sure when my children are grown they will look back at the archives of this blog and talk about how she was the spoiled youngest child. And they would be right. JUST KIDDING! I wish I would have started sooner, but I can only blog about what's going on now and enjoy all my stories later. When they are teenagers and asking to borrow the car or being as snotty as I was to my parents.

Anyway, here is a short video of Julianna hanging out in the exersaucer. I know now that I will forget the way she sounded at this stage. So here is my memory being documented for later when all I hear her say is,"MOOOM!! LILY STOLE MY FAVORITE SHIRT!!"

Style Series

This morning she wanted to be a super hero. She's wearing a pink t-shirt with a blue, lace trimmed top; a blue, purple and navy skirt; goggles, helmet, and pink cape.

Roller Derby! She's wearing a pink top with a red shrug; a pink feathery headband; a fancy tutu and roller skates.

Yesterday she was wearing a snow cap, a white hooded sweater, multi-colored leggings, and yellow rain boots.

These are examples of classic Lily. These outfits are starting to become less frequent because she has become concerned about what her friends are wearing at school. I will be sad when these lovely creations disappear all together.

Overheard Minivan Conversations

Drew: Are we going to Mimi's house?

Lily: No, she's not there. She's in Boston.

Me: Texas. Mimi is in Texas.

L: Oh, Mimi's in Texas, Drew. She's not at her house.

Later....

D:Are we going to Pizza Hunt?

L: Pizza HUT Drew. P-p-p-pizza HUT.

D: Yeah, Pizza HUNT! Are you going to Pizza HUNT?!

L: Drew! Hunt is what Uncle Michael dooes (yes, dooes!). It's Pizza Hut.



Later....

D: I want to go to Gwammaw's house. Turn straight so we can go to Gwammaw's house.

M: We weren't invited. We're just going for a drive today.

D: We are va-vited. I was va-vited.

M: Well, we're not going today. We're just going for a drive to get out of the house.

D: I WANT TO GO TO GWAMMAW"S HOUSE! TURN STRAIGHT!!!

(meanwhile, Lily makes a suggestion that I can't remember right now.)

D: DON"T TALK TO ME THAT WAY!!! DON"T TALK TO ME UNTIL WE GET TO GWAMMAW"S!! Turn STRAIGHT MOMMY!

And again Later....

D: My pants want to go to Gwammaw's house.

M: What?! Why do your pants want to go to Grandma's house?

D: Beeeecccaaauuuusssse my pant were va-vited. My pants want to go to Gwammaw's house. Aaaaaannnnd....my boots want to go to Gwammaw's house. Aaaaannnnnnd my seat belt wants to. And my legs want to.

This is what it's like at my house everyday. Every. Day.

Dance Fever

Julianna has had a fever for almost two weeks. She has had two rounds of antibiotics and still has been averaging a fever of 100. It's been as low as 99 and as high as 101.5, but it hasn't gone away. I took her to the doctor yesterday for the third time in the past two weeks. Yesterday was the first time that we had seen her doctor because every time we needed a doctor before he had been out of the office and we saw the doctor on-call. I am so grateful that we finally saw our doctor, Dr. Starkey. It makes me more comfortable to hear from him because he knows us and doesn't mess around when it comes to my children.

Dr. Starkey ordered a chest x-ray and blood work to find out if she had pneumonia or a different infection. Thankfully, the chest x-ray looked fine and although her breathing sounded congested, it was not in her chest, so we don't have to do breathing treatments. After all the blood work, he said that her white count was on the "high end of normal" so he has put her on another round of a stronger antibiotic. I hope that kicks the infection right outta town because it's no fun to be sick!! I hope that she's feeling better by the end of the day.

Yesterday while I had Julianna at the doctor, Lily had dance class. It was bring a friend day and I missed the whole thing. I guess that's the breaks of having three children- you just can't make it to everything. I am so sad about this because they usually don't let parents in to watch, but since it was friend day, they did a little dance for the parents at the end. Boo hoo. I asked Lily to do the dance when she got home, but she said she didn't remember the "stuff." I suppose I'll just have to catch the next show.