an unlikely friend

It was an unlikely friendship - to say the very least.

At Emporia State, he was a non-traditional student (and that's putting it mildly); I was a lost, crazy young adult on her fifth major in 3 years. He was older than my parents with long gray hair, a loud barking laugh and a sense of humor that would make even a sailor blush.

He welcomed me into his family and took me to coffee every week. He became a beloved uncle to me. The kind you choose, not the kind you're born with.


He was a man who loved Pink Floyd almost as much as he loved the game of basketball.  But most of all he loved his kids. There was always a far off twinkle in his clear blue eyes when he spoke of Sarah and Travis. They were what he was most proud of.

During our friendship, he taught me many lessons; but the most important lesson he taught me I thought I'd already learned. It was the one that went something like: "....you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them." from my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird. He didn't teach me this lesson with words or lectures. He taught me with authentic friendship, acceptance and love - he taught me just by being himself.

I lost my friend Gary just a few days ago. It was sudden and I will miss him very much.

Gary, with his first grandchild.

Happy Ending?


There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.

-Shel Silverstein

a nutcracking wife...

Julianna: I want Wife [cereal] for breck-sest (breakfast).

Me: Life? You are my life! ha ha

Julianna: I am not your WIFE! You are my WIFE! (Wife only because she doesn't pronounce her L's very well.)

Me: I'm not you're wife?? You crack me up!

Julianna: I do NOT! (In her angry voice) I am the Prairie Nutcracker and I crack you open!

funny nut cheerios

This morning Julianna asked for "funny" nut cheerios for breakfast.

Today we had lunch with Grandma Ann (Tom's mom) for her birthday. David and Niki were there to celebrate, too. After lunch we went back to Ann's house to bake and decorate cookies. I think everyone had a good time.

Tonight, while I was helping Julianna get ready for bed I asked her what the best part of her day was. She said, "Um...making cookies! What the best part for you?"
I thought for a minute and said, "I liked being with you!"
"Oh," she said.  "I liked being with David!"

Just now I put Drew to bed. He was slap happy, to say the least. He brushed his teeth and crawled into bed with his shoes, glasses and clothes still on. I suggested that he might get uncomfortable sleeping in his clothes and that I'd help him get his pj's on.
"Why are you going to get me naked?!"
"You don't have to take off everything. Just your shirt and pants."
"Why do I have to get naked to my PEA-NUS!? (penis)"
"I didn't say anything about your penis."
Uproarious laughter.
"PEA-NUS! PEA-NUS! PEA-NUS! You said pea-nus!"
More uncontrollable laughter.
Singing: Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake your pea-nus!"

And that is about all I have to say about today.

Rudolf and Santa

Drew sings: Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose...and if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows....

Drew says: Is Rudolf real?

Me: Yes.

But then I feel the need to qualify that answer. It suddenly felt deceitful. So I say: He's as real as Santa is!

Drew: Well, I KNOW Santa is real! So that means Rudolf is too!

Whew.

the good drugs

I have a sinus infection. This morning I was taking some of the good drugs to make the congestion go away. Drew saw me with the box of pills and asked me what I was doing with them. I told him that I was taking medicine for my stuffy nose. "Oh? So you stuff those pills up your stuffy nose?!" Oh, Drew. There are so many reasons why that is a bad idea.

But now I am Six

I'm as clever as clever, So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

I wish I had a house full of six-year-olds. There are so many things to love about this stage I can't even begin to name them all. I would like to share a few examples with you though.

Example 1: I have been suffering from a cold that has turned into a sinus infection. Tuesday was the worst day of it all. I ran early in the morning and could never quite recover afterward. I managed to make dinner, but by the time it was time to eat I could barely keep my head up. This Tuesday was also the one day of the month that Tom stays at the office well into thing night...or early morning hours.

After dinner was over, Lily offered to clean up for me. I wasn't really paying much attention to exactly what she meant because I was just trying to get the other kids to bed because they hadn't had a nap that day. While I was attending to Drew and Julianna, Lily washed two dirty pans, loaded the rest of the dirty dishes, swept the kitchen floor and cleaned out a nasty lunch box that she'd been procrastinating for well over a week. I was flabbergasted. I was so touched by there kindness and willingness to be helpful. I definitely put her to bed with a good feeling in my heart.

Example 2: Our evenings with Lily have been going very well lately. Our mornings, not so much. She has been stalling getting ready again and I'm having a hard time not hounding her to get ready. Last week she was demanding that I get her something to eat and I was demanding that she comb her hair and brush her teeth. I told her, "I will not get you anything to eat until you are doing what I've asked you to do!" She was horrified...or had just recently learned a new tactic to avoid getting in trouble...because she said to me, "Mom! You can't do that! That's threatening me. You cannot threaten. That is not okay!" What I really wanted to say was, I'll show you what a threat looks like, little missy! But what I said was, "This is not a threat. You need to finish getting ready before you can eat your breakfast." With her latest argument she didn't get out of doing what I asked, but she did help me to realize that I was getting a little worked up and need to calm down about the hair combing and teeth brushing.

Example 3: Last night after dinner Tom and I were getting the kitchen cleaned up and various other chores accomplished. The children were playing quietly in the basement. It started to get late and so I told Tom to please send the younger two kids upstairs to play quietly so that Lily could go to bed (they had both had naps). When Tom went down to the basement to get them he found them with a disaster in the making. There were bottles of glue that had been emptied and mixed with water...and it was spread out pretty well over the existing play room mess. He came upstairs carrying a plastic drawer with the water and glue sloshing around and sent me down to help contain the mess.

When I got downstairs it was such a mess that I made Lily wipe down the table, told her that she cannot use her art supplies in this manner if she's going to do art alone and then I sent her to bed. She was really unhappy about my request, but she did manage to make it to her bed. I came up a few minutes later to tell her goodnight and tuck her in. Then I went back to the basement to clean up.

A few minutes later Tom heard Lily speaking loudly from her bed. "You blame me for EVERYTHING! It was not MY FAULT! Drew told me to squeeze out the glue....AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU!! YOU BLAME ME!! I swept the floor and loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the mud room...and still I get blamed!!"

I love six-year-olds.

learning about turn tables and cigarettes

I just found an art project online and asked Lily if she had some of the supplies in her art closet. She said that she did, but that she's watching PBS and she'd get it when the show was over. "It's really good to watch, Mom. You don't even know you're learning! The kids are learning and they don't even know it!"

Today while waiting in the car for Lily to come out of the school, Drew was out of his seat belt dancing to the song on the radio. It was Little Drummer Boy and Drew was rocking out. He was dancing like he'd lost control of his body. He was moving in quick, jerky movements all over the car. I couldn't hold in a chuckle. All the dancing reminded him of something he'd seen on a show he'd watch (the very one that Lily was referring to when saying 'they don't even know they are learning!'). He started doing a motion with his hands and saying that he'd always wanted one of those things that spins those things. I finally figured out that Drew has always wanted a turn table of his very own. ha

Today Julianna was telling me about her weekend. She said that she'd gone to Mimi's house to spend the night. Then she told me that they had gone out to look at Christmas lights in Uncle Michael's "biiiiiig bus"...which was actually a van that my mom had rented from a local car dealership. Julianna went on to tell me that Uncle Austin had also been at Mimi's house, but not Aunt Amy. When I asked her where Aunt Amy was, she said, "I think at her house. She stayed home with the chickens."

Last week I did a post about Shanna's conversations with Drew. That very day, he said the funniest thing yet. Shanna tells it best, so I'm just going to share the whole text with you. "Prepare yourself for greatness! We were getting out of the car and I told him if he blows it turns to smoke when it's so cold. He says, yeah, it looks like when you're smoking a stick thing. But only men smoke sticks. And only dirty working men. My dad sometimes gets really dirty when he works but he doesn't smoke sticks." I am still laughing when I think about this.

Speaking of smoking sticks. On the way home from school today Lily saw her friend and her friend's mother walking home from school. She was horrified to see that her friend's mother was smoking. "I didn't know H's mom smoked! She is smoking a cigarette!" I tried to make it not such a big deal to her. I wouldn't want her commenting on the smoking habit to her friend tomorrow. I tried to relate to the friend and shared that my grandma was a smoker and that there many people who smoke. Lily said, "Oh, well. I don't think H's mom smokes all the time. Only when it's cold outside. She probably gets hot smoking in the summer. She smokes in the cold to keep herself warm." Such innocence.

Shanna's morning commute

Most days I babysit for my friend Shanna's baby, Ben, while she goes to work as a preschool teacher. This year she is Drew's teacher, so three days a week when I pick-up Ben for the day, I drop off Drew with Shanna at the same time. Drew gets to ride to school with her. Shanna tells me that her drive to work with Drew is sometimes her favorite part of her work day. I thought I would share some of the conversations they've had on the blog.

On Tom's birthday Drew told Shanna that it was his dad's birthday. When she asked how old Tom was, Drew said, "Well, he's really strong, so he's probably 17."

When discussing Drew's first football game Drew said, "but the cheerleaders didn't look very good because they had sweatshirts over their pretty dresses."

One day Drew was talking to Shanna about how there were so many trees in Kansas. "Look at all of them! There are so many. I think there are at least 100 trees in Kansas."

Yesterday they were discussing the Christmas holiday. For our family, Christmas is not a religious holiday. However, Drew has expressed some interest recently in celebrating the birth of Jesus. I told him that that would be fine and asked how he'd like to do that. He told me, "with BBQ, chips with cheese on top and ice cream cupcakes." During that conversation I mentioned to him that Shanna was a person we knew that would go to church for Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I think he had our conversation in mind when he talked to Shanna about the holiday on the way to school yesterday. He said to Shanna, "On Christmas we celebrate Jesus being born. To celebrate we're going to have turkey, ribs, toast with butter and jelly, and chocolate milk. How are you going to celebrate?" Shanna answered, "Yes, that's the reason my family celebrates Christmas. For us, it's more about Jesus' birthday!" Drew said, "That's cool. What will you eat?" That's my boy. He knows you can't celebrate anything good without something yummy to eat! :)

Drew's last quote also comes from yesterday. Drew, "It's always cold in the North Pole. It snows Every. Single. Day.It's never warm. Unless the guy who makes the weather goes up there and makes it warm." Shanna, "I wish the guy who makes the weather warm would come and make it warm here." Drew, "Well, he's pretty busy. And if he was here, he could make it warm, and windy, and cloudy, and tornadoey."



This is a picture of Drew and Shanna from last year's first day of school. Shanna had Ben in August this year so we didn't get a picture like this this year. I will have to snap a more recent picture of them soon. :)

 If I had to pick the thing I will miss most when my kids are bigger I think it would be snuggling with them on my lap. But the close second would be the funny things that they say. They make me laugh every day.

Believe

Our house is dripping with the excitement of the holiday. I can feel the electric energy emanating from my children. We are in the thick of the best stage, where everyone wholeheartedly believes that there is a Santa Claus living at the North Pole. I love it!

Lily is six-years-old (almost seven!) and is a complete believer. Santa sent them personal video messages this weekend. It is an amazing website that lets you customize a message to your child directly from Santa. After she viewed the message, she ran to her room and wrote a thank you note. She wrote: "To Santa. To Elf. Thank you so so so so so so much for my note. I loved it! Love, Lily Stivers" She left the note with our magic elf, Elf, to have him deliver it back to Santa.

I am hoping we have at least a few more years with a fully magical Christmas. However, Lily was asking some pretty serious questions after our face-to-face visit with Santa. She was wondering why his beard was fake. She is also wondering why the elves will not be making the camera that she asked for. She just doesn't understand why Santa would have to purchase the camera instead of his magical elves making the gadget. I don't remember giving her the idea that the elves weren't making every toy, but maybe I did. Either way, she is frustrated by the revelation.

On the way home from school today Drew asked me if Daddy and I would please stay up the night before Christmas and watch for Santa. He said, "It'll be dark, but maybe you'll see Rudolph's nose. You just stay up while I sleep and watch for him. That's when he comes. The night before Christmas day. The night before is when he comes. I'll be sleeping, but you might she him!"

I hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday spirit as much as we are this year.

fancy shmancy

Yesterday afternoon I tried on every fancy dress I own for the children. We had a wonderful time. This activity led to the idea that we should have a fancy candlelight dinner. Luckily, earlier in the day, Ann had sent home some homemade chili for us to eat. It made it a lot easier to agree to a fancy dinner when I didn't have to cook!

Tom got dressed in his suit and tie. I wore my dress from last years Christmas party. The kids picked out what they thought were their fanciest clothes. We lit the candles and enjoyed a wonderful dinner together. It was amazing how well they used their manners and engaged in conversation when everyone was fancy. During dinner Lily said, "This is so much fun! I'm so glad I had the idea to do this!"

My camera is currently missing in action so we had to snap photos with my phone.

After dinner we watched Dr. Suess' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which has to be my favorite Christmas movie of all time.

Our fancy dinner was the ending to a great day of family fun. We spent the morning visiting a local art fair, decorating gingerbread houses and seeing Santa. We then had lunch and hangout time with the Stiverses. What a perfect day.

Perfect family days are always followed by tired family days. Today everyone is a little stir-crazy and maybe a tad grumpy. I have my fingers crossed that the naps they are supposed to be taking will help everyone make it to the end of today in one piece.