To Papaw for his 80th Birthday

Dear Papaw,

I have been thinking of writing you this letter for months. I really wanted the perfect words to share with you my perspective, but felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of the thanks I am wanting to offer you in this letter. I hope my words do enough to convey this to you.

The realization I had about you, your life, your success, and your learning disability have only come in my adulthood. As the parent of a child with dyslexia and the identification of my own dyslexia in adulthood, I am filled with gratitude for the path you took in your life. I have a feeling, knowing how hard you are on yourself, that you are confused by my proclamation of gratitude. Please give me a moment to explain how I see your choices in life impacting every generation to come after you in our family tree.

The last time I got to sit and listen to you tell the stories that make up your life, I heard some familiar ones and some new ones. I heard about your first experience when you tried to start college, your path home after, and your restart into college the next year. It was after this conversation that I was struck. I was struck that you very easily could have come home after your first start and stayed forever and been pretty happy on the farm. No one would have faulted the guy that struggled so significantly in school, if he had decided to stay on the farm that he loved and had worked hard to carve out a life from himself. You love the farm. You struggled in school. It would have been an easy path to stop there and live a long life right where you started. What is so amazing, and what I am so grateful for is, you didn't do that. You didn't take the easy way. You went to school. You became educated. You overcame many obstacles to not only earn a bachelors degree, but also a master's and doctorate. You have had an extremely successful career as an educator, becoming one of the most respected professionals in your field. You built a life and never took the easy way out.

From my perspective, the decision to stay is school is your legacy. I'm pretty sure, in all these years, it has never occurred to you the impact that your life decisions have had on your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren, and every generation that will come after you in the future. Your legacy is an impressive one. With your decision to stick with school and overcome your learning disability, you have impacted the paths of those of us that have come after you. By not going home and staying home after your first attempt at college, you made it so all of us would do the same with the goals that we set for ourselves. There is never a question, no matter what, in this family we don't give up.

Your life could have been a good life without a college degree. It's not the college degree that makes me proud to be your granddaughter. It's the hard working spirit, the dedication to a goal, the perseverance, the willingness to take the tougher road to overcome difficult obstacles that make me proud. So, yes, you could have lived a good life without the degrees and still given me much to be proud of. I know that I would've still learned many lessons about this very things from you had you not gone to college. However, you chose to be great, not just good enough. You chose to take the hard road when the easy one could have been a rich and full life too. By doing that, by taking that difficult path, you set up every generation after you to become great as well.

This is my way of sharing my heartfelt thank you to you. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for never giving up. Thank you for showing me with your actions that we are all capable. Thank you for showing me that the road less traveled can lead to great things.

I love you.

Much love,
Taylor

P.S. It goes without saying that much of your greatness comes from the influence of a great partner. Your marriage and partnership with Mamaw has had as much of an impact on my life as your decision to prioritize your education. I don't have to tell you how much credit Mams deserves in all of this greatness. I couldn't write this whole letter without mentioning her impact...but I think the amazing things she has done in her own legacy will take an entirely different letter. :)

my name

I've been thinking about blogging about the sweet difference in the way my children address me. They each call me something different and it seems to fit with who they are and where they are in life. Julianna calls me Mama and I love it so much. It's the sweetest thing ever to hear, "I love you, Mama." Drew calls me Mommy and, again, the sweetest thing ever and so short lived. I know it's only a matter of time before he only calls me Mom. Lily calls me Mom. She has done this for a very long time. She started calling me Mom while most kids at her age were still saying mommy and daddy. She just is too grown up for mommy now.

I was going to write all about this very thing....until today. Today Julianna started calling me Mom Stivers....and that just doesn't have the same ring to it as Mama.

Oh how I love my children.

Outtakes of the Family Photo Shoot

 



These are the outtakes from our recent family picture session. We didn't hire a fancy photographer because it was last minute, for fun, and we wanted to try out my sister, Aunt Flash's, new camera. We took the pictures at the shop of Johnson Sheet Metal, my dad's family business since 1921. It was lots of fun and we got some great shots. Julianna (I know she wants to be called Jae, but I'm going to secretly call her Julianna for as long as I can...but that's another post.) Anyway, Julianna gave us the best outtake faces. She is one expressive child!



 

 

 

This is what we did when we were told to be goofy.

My sister accidentally turned on her automatic picture feature and it took 10 or so pictures right in a row. Julianna and I decided to be goofy for all the pictures.

There could be a whole book of Julianna faces. She is possibly the most expressive person ever.

Aren't we so funny?

Someone said something hilarious.

This is Tom's favorite picture of me from the day. Don't I look cool?

I don't know where Lily learned this goofy face.

I love this picture.

I guess this is where Lily learned that goofy pose from earlier.

Oh, Julianna!

I hope we take more time to take these family pictures. They are priceless. They will look great in the next edition of my blog book. My goal is to turn each year of the blog into an actual book. I love the idea of having a collection of my writings in an actual book for my children to hold onto and read in the years to come. Actually, they aren't really allowed to read the blog yet. I'm not always sharing things on the blog that they are ready to read about. They will have to wait a few years before they can see what Mom really thought about this stuff. :)

A dedication

I'm about to have another six year old in my house. I love six year olds. They are so delightful; smart and funny, aware of the world outside of themselves but still completely innocent to the true, scary real world. They could not be more fun to hang out with.

 

As I reflect on my son and his turning six, I think about the recent events at Sandy Hook Elementary. I know there were a lot of blog posts about that day directly after the horrific events. But as I sit here thinking about my amazing six year old, I still think of the children and families from that community.

 

I have no profound statements. No answers or long winded sorrows to air. I just want to take a moment to remember the families that do not get to do what I am doing this weekend. I want to take a moment to give thanks that tomorrow I get to have a house full of five and six year olds to celebrate the life of my son. I am just so amazingly blessed to be the mother of my three beautiful children. Everyday they give me something to smile about. There is not a day, or even an hour, that goes by that I don't consciously give thanks for my lot in life. What an amazing gift.

 

So, this is the moment on my blog where I give my support to the families in Newtown. I dedicate one of my most favorite poems to the families in that community. The poem where a child gets to stay Six for ever and ever.

 

 

Now I Am Six

 

When I was One,

I had just begun.

 

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

 

When I was Three,

I was hardly me.

 

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

 

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

 

But now I am Six, I'm clever as clever,

So I think I'll be Six for ever and ever.

bubble bursting

I think I might have traumatized some people with my last post--or at least I've burst some bubbles. I'm sorry! I know it's hard to hear, but Drew is in fact not always sweet as sugar. Don't worry. Drew is still the sweet, considerate, darling boy you imagine him to be. Just like Lily is the creative, helpful, independent, darling girl you imagine her to be. And Julianna is the sweet, funny, friendly, darling girl you imagine her to be. It's just that everybody, everywhere, has a side that isn't so darling.

Last night Drew was so tired. He had spent all day working very hard at being perfect for his teachers, working his eyes overtime to keep up, and it was the exhausting first day back at school after a full two weeks off from school. He was allowed to be grumpy. He was allowed to say things he didn't mean. He was allowed to be the bear that I know him to be sometimes. Now, just because he was allowed to be a pistol doesn't mean he didn't have consequences. But part of being safe at home is being allowed to test your outer limits. I love having a home where people are allowed to be totally, utterly, unedited. It's not always fun; it's hardly ever easy; but at least everyone at our house knows that they are loved no matter what. Lord knows there are days when I say things I don't mean, or I yell a little too loudly at my kids, or I lose my patience. It's nice to have a relationship with my children where we are allowed to make mistakes, share our feelings, and love each other through it all.

I'm pretty sure that no matter what Tom and I do, our children will grow up and find the mistakes we made. I hope that by having an open and honest relationship with them, it will provide them with a little peace about it. They are bound to think we did something wrong....but if they've spent their whole lives being allowed to be honest about how they are feeling, then I doubt the will hold back their feelings as adults. Hopefully that openness will give Tom and I a chance to give our excuses for our parenting mishaps and save our children a few dollars in therapy.

End of the year update

I miss my blog. I think of things to write about and I even take notes sometimes so I won't forget. However, making myself take the time to sit down and write has been hard. So I thought I would just stop by and get an end-of-the-year update so that I don't completely forget my life.

Several months ago Tom got a new job as a Construction Manager for his company. The time commitment for him was huge. It was a very busy summer with some pretty stressful days. Summer is my favorite time of year but it was harder to enjoy with a missing member of the family. The construction season has already come to a close and today is Tom's last day at work for three weeks. I am very much looking forward to having him around and he not drained from work in the evenings. The winter months of his job are what I look forward to and are the light at the end of the tunnel come August when we rarely get a moment to ourselves.

Lily will be turning eight in February  EIGHT! So strange. I'm happy to say there are days, or moments, that she is wise beyond her years. She continues to do well in school academically and she also continues to be perplexed by her peers. She loves her teacher and so do I. Mrs. Wilkens had made this year very enjoyable and a huge learning opportunity for Lily. Lily is still committed to ballet. She struggles to always remain ballerina-like during class. Not because she cannot dance....but because she lacks the calm, quiet personality that is common with a ballet dancer. I am proud of her because she continues to work hard to do her best and her dance teacher continues to demand Lily's best. My most favorite development with Lily is that she isn't just a new reader anymore. She is now a true bookworm. She has to be grounded from reading if we are needing to really get a message across. We went through a couple of weeks of poor behavior at home and at school. We discovered the root of the problem was that she was staying up way past bedtime to read her books. Now when I tell her good night, we read together for a few minutes and then I take the book with me upstairs. This has to be done so that she can function at school. Chances are this will be a habit that she will continue for the rest of her life...speaking from experience.

Mr. Drew is in kindergarten and will be turning six years old very soon. He has not missed a day of school and he loves his teacher. He works very hard a school and is always trying to be the perfect student, the perfect friend and blend in with his peers in just the right way. He has relaxed some as the year as progressed, but he remains diligent. He struggles some with his eyes. We have discovered that he has not been seeing as well as he could be seeing. This struggle to see has made reading more difficult, but his teacher says that she cannot tell he is struggling at all. He is just where he needs to be for his level of reading and comprehension and she tells me all the time how smart he is. I know I might have sounded crazy to her at first when I said that I thought Drew was struggling...but I'm glad I persisted. It turns out, he inherited my eyes. His eyes cross just enough that it makes it difficult for him to see what he is reading. He has recently begun eye therapy and we are hoping that this exercises with help us to avoid a corrective surgery. Drew has been staying busy with friends and is playing basketball this winter. He loves being a part of a group and really has not met a person at school that wasn't a friend. Last month he was chosen as the Hawk Walker. The Hawk Walker is a child recognized for setting a good example in the hallway and making good choices. As far as I know he is the only one in his class to have the honor so far and Lily told us it was a big deal. For receiving the honor he got a choose one friend to sit with him at a special table in the lunch room for lunch and then his name was announce on the Morgan Morning News. I am very proud of him!

Julianna is in her first year of preschool. She loves it! She always gives me the full report of everything that happened at school that day. She doesn't hold anything back and even shared yesterday that she had her first time out at school. She said she was playing monsters too loud and didn't quiet down to come to circle. She shared that her friend Lauren cried, but that she was too scared to cry. Earlier in the week she shared that she hard learned about 'thinking' at school. I asked her what she learned and she said, 'I don't know. We didn't think.' She always makes me laugh. Julianna is getting so spoiled being the only kid home during the day. She gets Tom and I to herself during lunch most afternoons. She is determined to be as much of a tomboy as she can possibly be, but then loves to play babies and house and do very girly things.She is growing up very quickly and loves to learn. She finds time to mother her babies, play a little basketball, take swimming lessons, and pester her siblings to explosion on a regular basis. Julianna makes everyone laugh and knows just what to do to drive us crazy too.

I am staying very busy. I thought having two in school would free up some of my time - and it did. However I wasn't too keen on free time. I went stir crazy at home with no one to take care of. My schedule has filled up with some volunteer opportunities and helping at the kids' schools. I love being a stay at home mom at this stage. I am always available for their programs and school functions and I am the one to cart them to all of their activities. My days are busy and hectic but I really love it. In January I will start training for my first full marathon. I have now done three half marathons (13.1 miles) so I feel like it's time to take the plunge and just train. At this point my goal is to survive the training runs without injury and to complete the 26.2 mile race in a fully conscious state. My scheduled race is in April in Oklahoma City. I hope that I will take the time to blog a little bit during my training. Surely it will be interesting and a little fun.

Lily sitting next to her blue ribbon winning artwork

Headed out for a bike ride in 105 degree heat.

Showing off for the crowd at the Kansas State Fair.

Drew at his Halloween party sitting with his friend, Jaron. 

Looking good all dressed for school. 

A ride on the tire swing in Colorado this year.

Julianna loves to swing!

Pirate Lily waving during her school parade. 

I hope this provide a glimpse into our lives. My 2013 resolution is to blog a minimum of once a week. It will happen.

voting 'yes' doesn't mean you have to wear rainbows and dance in a gay bar...

I wonder if  anyone even reads this little blog anymore.....I'm sorry. Our computer hasn't been working the way that it should for a couple of months now. There are times that I sit down to blog and it doesn't work out because our computer won't cooperate.

I have been wanting to blog- really I have! Like yesterday, Drew was telling me about how much fun he had spending the night at Mimi and Papa's house over the weekend. He said: It was too much fun! Like a jug of fun! I asked him to repeat it, and he did indeed say jug. So I asked what he meant by that. He said that, well, he decided that a jug of fun is a whole lot of fun because, you know, milk comes in a big jug, so if you have a lot of fun it can also be called a "jug of fun." So yes, my children have given me material. I promise our computer will be fixed soon...as you know, my husband has a computer science degree...he does know about this stuff. But his life in consumed with asphalt until mid-November. I'm hoping that our computer will be on the mend by Thanksgiving. 

I am compelled to blog tonight for a very important reason. I am chancing our computer crashing to get this post out into the blogosphere. Time is running out to get the message out about this. There is a question on our local ballot regarding extending protections for gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals in our community. What the movement  is asking for is really very simple. They are asking to be afforded the right to file a complaint with the Human Rights Commission if they are discriminated against with housing or employment. That is all, really. After I explained this to Lily and Drew, Lily asked, "But Mom, why would someone say no to being fair?" Good question, Lily.

I am writing about this because I think there is a huge misunderstanding happening in my community. Well, I really hope that it's just a misunderstanding- fueled by a few hateful people. I really hope that it's not people actually thinking that another human being should not be afforded the same simple, personal right to have a job and safe housing. Surely there isn't anyone against making sure that their neighbors may feel safe in their community. Surely...

Please, if you live in Hutchinson, please inform yourself about the local issues. Please do not let hate groups educate you on an issue. Please know that if you are concerned about your religious liberties being infringed upon by allowing protections for all individuals, your religious liberties are safe. Not only is religious beliefs already listed as a protected class in this community, but this ordinance EXEMPTS churches and other religious organizations. 

Please consider voting yes. We are a small community and I hope that we prove ourselves to be an inclusive community with this vote. This is not a vote on how you feel about homosexuals. This is not a vote to determine the fate of gay marriage or accepting an invitation to a gay pride parade. The people supporting this ordinance are simply asking for a fair and level playing field in this community. By voting yes you will be extending a basic kindness to your neighbor. All of your neighbors without exception. 

Gift ideas

I am hoping that if I write this down I will remember not only the conversation, but the way Drew speaks sometimes. There is no way to describe it on the blog, so somewhere in my brain i hope to save his tendency to speak with a southern twang and use such expressive words and faces.

Me, as I backed out of the driveway: Did you guys know that the guys from Daddy's work are going to be working on our street someday soon? They have their trucks right around the corner so they can do our neighborhood.

Lily: yeah...they are coming in December?

Me: not quite. It will be in September and October...hey, October is Daddy and my anniversary month!

Lily: do we have to get you a present?

Me: no, it's just between daddy and I. But I hope daddy gets me a present.

Drew: like what?

Me: I don't know....something nice....

Drew: oh, well, maybe a back scratch or something!? I don't know!!

Me: yeah, maybe. That is nice.

The Drew Video

Drew goes to his first day of kindergarten tomorrow. As you can imagine, I am feeling pretty emotional about it. I have to say, I am less sad and more excited for him. I feel like he and I have had so much amazing time together and we've developed a bond that is strong and healthy. He is ready to head to kindergarten. He's excited. I'm excited for him. I would feel bad to mourn this time and I'd rather celebrate his next step. This little video is just a snip it of the moments and years we've spent together as he grew into a boy big enough for kindergarten. I know that this is only the beginning of his big adventure. I know that he'll be sharing with me as he goes along. I know that I will be celebrating him for the rest of my life. He is just getting started.

I really love this kid a whole lot. I'm pretty sure he knows that already.

Stay tuned for the kindergarten letter tomorrow.

the rewards of hard work

My kids now have chores. Finally. I had wondered how to implement tasks for the kids to complete without making us all crazy with nagging and threats. With some advice from a fellow mom, I came up with a list of things the kids can do to earn TV time, computer time, or just cold hard cash (up to  60 cents in a day, up to two times a week). This program has been fairly successful, as my kids are not usually guaranteed TV time everyday. We just don't have the TV on very often. With our new chore list they can make sure that they have to 60 minutes of TV in a day. Win-win.

Mostly on the list are simple things that I want my kids to do anyway. They get five minutes (or five cents) for taking their dishes over after dinner, rinsing them, and loading them in the dishwasher. They also get five minutes for brushing their teeth before bed. I feel like this gives them an easy way to have success and an easy way to make sure they are brushing their teeth. :) Both Drew and Lily also have two more difficult tasks on their list. Each of the more difficult tasks give them 15 minutes of TV time each. If they just do those two chores in a day, that's one whole TV show.

This system is great for many reasons. One of the best reasons being that if they don't do the task, they don't get the reward the next day. I don't have to nag because they know what needs to be done and they have the whole day to make sure it gets done. I do not have to be the bad guy either. They are in complete control over what chores they do and how much time in front of the TV they are rewarded with. One time Lily tried to start the "It's not fair" argument when she saw that Drew had earned more time than her. She quickly trailed off because she realized that she was in complete control of earning more time.

Now, just because I don't nag, doesn't mean that I don't gently remind them of their chores. If they are looking for something to do I might say, "Hey, you could just do your big chore really quick to make sure you get your TV time tomorrow."

Today I had to opportunity to remind Drew of his chore. I was making lunch and I had two dirty rags in the sink. I asked him to please take the rags to the laundry room for me. Then I added, "You know, your chore could be really easy right now, too. You could run upstairs and grab the basket of dirty laundry and bring it down to the laundry room with you right now."

Drew said, "No! I don't like to do my chores to earn special stuff. ...like TV....or computer....or deviled eggs! I don't even like deviled eggs!!"

I can't remember ever suggesting that deviled eggs were on the list of possible rewards. Which I suppose is a good thing because Drew doesn't even like them!

taking notes and shaping people

I remember kindergarten. In fact, I remember the practice day you go to before you start kindergarten. I remember my teacher, the circle tables and the fact that I sat at a table of all boys. (I was pretty convinced for awhile that the reason I sat at an all boy table on the first day was because my teacher thought this Taylor was going to be a boy.) I remember choosing my first pair of glasses and my final eye surgery. I remember many, many things from when I was five and six.

I remember all of those things in pretty vivid detail and I think that's why when my children are about to turn five I get a little emotional and thoughtful. I think about what I'm saying to them. What they are experiencing and how they are feeling about everything. I wonder which moments will become ingrained in their memory and which ones will only be remembered because of my blog.

A five-year-old brain is fascinating. It is learning at lightening speed. The brain is recording language and numbers and how to tie shoes. It is identifying emotions and the power they have over lots of things. This little brain is observing how you are with manners, grammar, their siblings and your friends. They see how you talk to your spouse, how much you kiss your spouse and how often you speak negatively to your spouse. This little brain is taking notes, as only a five-year-old can. Tom and I are making very real impressions on how they will see the world.

No one is perfect and I hope that I'm not implying that you should be. What I'm trying to say is, you should do your best. And when you're not doing your best, tell your child about it. If you speak rudely to your spouse in front of the children, make sure your children also see you apologize. If you lose your temper with your child over something silly, take steps to help them see you're working on not getting upset over silly things. Make sure that you apologize to them. Share what you feel like when you're angry and what you do to feel calm afterward. Then try to be more understanding next time they lose their temper. Then maybe you could come up with ways for them to cope with anger in a healthy way and remember back to when you lost your temper so that they feel like they are understood and not that they are bad.

No one talks about this too much. I think people know that they are teaching manners and reading and how to tie shoes. But I don't think people are thinking about what your kids hear you say about the neighbors, about politics, religion or relationships. I don't think people spend a lot of time thinking about the fact that the way the greet their spouse when they get home from work is making a lasting impression on their child right now. But it is. If you want to raise a kind, loving, hardworking adult, then you need to make sure that you live your life as a kind, loving, hardworking adult.


After that you just have to keep your fingers crossed they don't pick up too many of the bad habits that you think you're doing without them noticing. Because guess what, they are noticing . They took note and it may have an impact on who they become.

a shout out

This is a shout out to my husband.

Well, actually, it's a shout out about my husband.

You guys, he did something amazing for me this weekend.

Remember I told you that I lost my good friend Gary on the 27th of December? Well, his funeral was in New Mexico. Nine and a half hours from my house.

When I received the news about Gary I hung up the phone in a little bit of shock. Tom didn't skip a beat and asked me where we were going. He started planning our trip to gather with Gary's family immediately. Even when he found out it was in New Mexico.

Due to time constraints because of three busy children, we had 48 hours to make the trip. I know that this sounds crazy....but Tom totally drove me to New Mexico anyway. We got to spend an entire day with Gary's family sharing memories, laughs and tears. At the end of the day, Tom and I started home. We left at 5 pm on Friday and arrived to pick up our children from my parents house at 2:30 pm Sunday.

In my opinion, that's a pretty amazing gift. I will be forever grateful.

PS I also should make a point to tell you that Tom could not have done this without my parents and siblings. They unselfishly stepped in to take care of our kids for the weekend so that we could go. That is also a gift that cannot be repaid. I have the best family.

an unlikely friend

It was an unlikely friendship - to say the very least.

At Emporia State, he was a non-traditional student (and that's putting it mildly); I was a lost, crazy young adult on her fifth major in 3 years. He was older than my parents with long gray hair, a loud barking laugh and a sense of humor that would make even a sailor blush.

He welcomed me into his family and took me to coffee every week. He became a beloved uncle to me. The kind you choose, not the kind you're born with.


He was a man who loved Pink Floyd almost as much as he loved the game of basketball.  But most of all he loved his kids. There was always a far off twinkle in his clear blue eyes when he spoke of Sarah and Travis. They were what he was most proud of.

During our friendship, he taught me many lessons; but the most important lesson he taught me I thought I'd already learned. It was the one that went something like: "....you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them." from my favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird. He didn't teach me this lesson with words or lectures. He taught me with authentic friendship, acceptance and love - he taught me just by being himself.

I lost my friend Gary just a few days ago. It was sudden and I will miss him very much.

Gary, with his first grandchild.

Happy Ending?


There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.

-Shel Silverstein

fancy shmancy

Yesterday afternoon I tried on every fancy dress I own for the children. We had a wonderful time. This activity led to the idea that we should have a fancy candlelight dinner. Luckily, earlier in the day, Ann had sent home some homemade chili for us to eat. It made it a lot easier to agree to a fancy dinner when I didn't have to cook!

Tom got dressed in his suit and tie. I wore my dress from last years Christmas party. The kids picked out what they thought were their fanciest clothes. We lit the candles and enjoyed a wonderful dinner together. It was amazing how well they used their manners and engaged in conversation when everyone was fancy. During dinner Lily said, "This is so much fun! I'm so glad I had the idea to do this!"

My camera is currently missing in action so we had to snap photos with my phone.

After dinner we watched Dr. Suess' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which has to be my favorite Christmas movie of all time.

Our fancy dinner was the ending to a great day of family fun. We spent the morning visiting a local art fair, decorating gingerbread houses and seeing Santa. We then had lunch and hangout time with the Stiverses. What a perfect day.

Perfect family days are always followed by tired family days. Today everyone is a little stir-crazy and maybe a tad grumpy. I have my fingers crossed that the naps they are supposed to be taking will help everyone make it to the end of today in one piece.

our crazy week

This picture pretty much sums up how things have been going around here lately. This is Drew with a box around his middle and a bag over his head. He was running around in circles as fast as he could until he went full speed into the wall.

On Halloween night Lily bit into a glow stick and it exploded in her mouth. If you were wondering; yes, they are toxic. She spent 20 minutes at the sink rinsing out her mouth and spitting everywhere. Then, after drenching her costume, she wanted me to immediately wash the dress so that she could go trick-or-treating for a little while longer. It was 10 minutes past bedtime. Much to her dismay, trick-or-treating was over for the year.

Last night the kids did not like what I made for dinner. Okay, so Drew and Lily didn't like it and ended up only having carrots for their whole meal. Needless to say, Lily was hungry in the night. Rather than helping her get something to eat I mumble something about she could get a piece of bread and then wait for breakfast.

Today at lunch I was looking forward to having Cheetos with my sandwich. We never have them in the house and I'd given in and purchased some. Well, I went to get them and they were nowhere to be found. I called Tom and asked if he'd taken them with him for his lunch today. He said he didn't even know we had Cheetos and suggested checking Lily's room. Sure enough, they were there...in her bed...under the covers...a whole bag nearly empty.

Lily was getting ready for dance yesterday. She is required to wear clothes over he dance uniform. I suggested she wear the clothes she'd worn to school over the dance leotard. She said, "No! I like to show off. My favorite part of dance is to choose what I'm going to wear over my dance leotard." That clenches it. She is not doing dance again (after this year). I've got to sign her up to do a show at the local Family Children's Theatre.

 I was going to do a post about how crazy the kids have been but it turns out that Lily is the only one that made the cut into a story. Drew and Julianna have been crazy this week...but they have done nothing specific that I can recall that makes for a good story on the blog. They are just generally running around all day like they have bags on their heads. Lily has actually had a pretty good week....she just happens to sometimes give me the best writing material. I look forward to reading her memoirs.

friends forever

posing like our papaw

doing facial relaxation exercises to atempt a better picture.

a pretty damn good picture, if i do say so myself.

Christmas, 1982 Front to back: Austin, Sarah and me.

Adult sibling relationships are hard. They take work, acceptance, patience and forgiveness. It's amazing to me how three people born to the same parents, raised in the same house, can be so different from each other. But, alas, it is true. We experienced many of the same things growing up, but we were experiencing them from different perspectives, at different developmental stages and with different personalities.

In my opinion we all turned out pretty well. We don't always see things eye to eye, and we don't always say the correct most loving things to each other, but we are family. We are very lucky to be friends and enjoy spending time together. I am lucky to have a brother and a sister that always have my back and love me for who I am...even though they know my every fault, my every mistake and every bad judgment I've made. They know all of that and they are still here.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty lucky to have grown up with these people and to still have them in my life today. Even if we are completely different from one another - we are friends in the truest sense of the word.

Much love to Sarah and Austin. <3

post race

I have started this post and re-started this post a few times. I just can't quite capture the direction I want my post-half-marathon-blog-post to go.

I can say....

 ...that it was amazing.

...that the partners I trained with will be my friends for life. Krystal and Courtney were so welcoming during our first runs. They made me feel like I was an important part of their training team. They are the reason I was able to show up to the race with confidence this morning.

...I want to do as many races as possible.

...I had no idea that I was actually capable of training for, and completing, a 13.1 mile race.

...I didn't know that I was capable of running at such a good pace. It was a spectacular feeling every time I heard our pace time.

...I would not have kept such a fantastic pace and positive attitude during my run without my partner Courtney. Her sunny personality was a huge boost as I ran miles 9 through 11.

Courtney and I feeling great and running at a super fantastic pace.

...that I'm lucky to have such a supportive family. And by family I mean my mom, dad, sister, brother, brother in-law, sister in-law, two nephews, my mother in-law, Ann, my mamaw and papaw; as well as Tom, Lily, Drew and Julianna. They followed me throughout my race. They chased me down over and over. They whooped and hollered at me waving signs and making me feel like a super star. My grandparents even drove a couple of hours to be here for my run. I am so lucky.

Tom handing out the bananas.

...I have the best husband. Tom mapped out a timeline of where to meet me and when so that he could be ready for me. He brought us bananas for me to eat. Bananas that I know I couldn't have finished without. At one point when I saw him I yelled, "Do you have a banana in your pocket?!!" And Courtney finished, "Or are you just happy to see us?"

This is the point that David started helping me put one foot in front of the other.

...I would not have finished the race running if it weren't for my uncle David. He pulled me through until the end. David sang to me, boosted my spirits and remained positive when my mind and body had left me at mile 11 and a half. He suggested we finish together - and meant it.We did finish together and I will never forget it.

 See what I mean about supportive, positive people? I couldn't have done it without them.

We made it!

The Star of Pooty Pout Radio: Drew

Today has been a good day. We got Lily off to school on time (barely), I came home and cleaned the kitchen and  then Drew, Julianna I headed to the Kansas State Fair.

We love the Fair. Today happened to be the day that we went with Drew's preschool. We stayed with the class long enough to go through the animal barns (yuck) and get a free scoop of ice cream before we headed off to watch the marching bands. The kids and I love the marching bands. Drew, Julianna and I sat through at least five different bands' performances before we took a break to have lunch. After lunch we went and did art projects at the Do Art building and sat through the pig races.

All in all it was a great morning. We had lots of fun and did just enough to not get over tired. We headed home to catch the tail end of Tom's lunch break and Julianna laid down for her nap. After Julianna was asleep Drew and I played a few rounds of Uno and Old Maid before I told him I needed to get some chores done....this did not go over well.

Now we are towards the middle of our afternoon. We will leave to pick-up Lily in about 45 minutes. Last year during school this used to be my favorite part of the day. Nap time was glorious. It was quiet and wonderful and no one had any expectations for what needed to to be done. I could do laundry or sit and surf the Internet. It just didn't matter. This year, not so much.

Drew is in the middle of a terrible phase. He sort of needs a nap sometimes, but not really all the time. If his bed time could be shifted to a later time (say, 8:30) then he would still take a daily nap. However, we get up at 6:30 every morning and Lily goes to bed at 7, so it's better if Drew doesn't take a nap so that everyone is going to bed at roughly the same time.

I pay for the early bedtime routine now. I pay in hours and hours of whining from Drew. And hours and hours of being pulled on, climbed over, hung on, and so forth. It's just not fun to be around Drew from about noon until 7 pm everyday. I am unaware of a solution to this problem. Drew has always been a bit...well, moody. But he usually was in a good mood most of the time. The rarity of the bad moods mad them easier to handle. Now there are fewer and fewer good moods and more and more bad moods. He actually has be at my wits end.

Right now the only thing I can come up with to solve my problem is to lock him in the closet...but that wouldn't be best because then he would just whine louder....and maybe call the authorities.

Does she look like Aunt Sarah?

Their mouths are different, but I think that Julianna looks like her Aunt Sarah.

The Annie Post

This post has been a long time coming. We have known for six months that the show Annie was coming to Manhattan, Kansas, which is a little over two hours from where we live. I have been looking so forward to this because Lily was going to turn five just in time (the perfect age for your first big show!) and Tom's cousin Lynn plays Miss Hannigan.


It was amazing and so many things happened that day, it's hard for me to remember it all. So, I thought I would just give you the highlights.

• We got to go backstage for the grand tour. It was so cool to see all the props, the actors, sound crew and everything else that goes into such a big production.
• We got to have lunch with Lynn. She gave us the scoop (aka gossip) on the tour. I will leave it at that. I doubt any of the people on the tour will ever read this, but I would hate to rat Lynn out!! I loved getting the behind the scenes gossip and trying to keep it straight as we watched the show.
• Lily was bursting with excitement the whole time. It was such a dream come true for her! With the make-up, costumes, dancing and props....she couldn't have been happier. She was all business and focus on the tour. She was really taking mental notes and has been acting out all that she learn since the show.
• When the curtain went up Lily said, "Oh, that's not how this show looks on my TV!"
• Lily met Daddy Warbucks back stage. Later, when she saw his picture, she exclaimed, "There's DOCTOR WARBUCKS!"
• Lily kept telling people that she'd seen Annie (the movie) '100 times'.
• Wigs are a big deal on the tour. They have a girl whose job is to take care of the wigs. I think Lynn called her The Wig Mistress. Lynn's wig has a name, Marge. Lily spent a lot of time asking questions about the wigs, as well as studying them up close.
• As the show began, Lily kept saying over and over, "That's Lynn. She's nice and she's just acting mean. She's not really mean." However, by the end of the show Lynn was actually Miss Hannigan and Lily was saying, "I want Miss Hannigan to go away!! Why is she so mean?" I think that's not only a testiment to Lily's inmagination but also to Lynn's talent.
• Speaking of Lynn's talent. She was amazing and hysterical in the show. She's truly awesome! Plus, she's really cool off stage, too.

This experience was well worth staying up WAY past our bedtime!! Thank you, Lynn!!


Lily posing for a picture with Madison Kerth, or THE Annie.

Posing with Lynn (and Marge).