Laughs, thanks to Julianna

Julianna never fails to make me laugh. Here are two things that she's said in the last 24 hours to make me smile.

I told her to get her coat on so we could leave the house. She looked on the inside and saw that her name had been written on the inside. She looks at me and says with a shocked look, "Mom! JC Penny's put my name in my coat! How did they do that?!" I then explained to her that I had put her name in her coat in case she lost it.

Tom got home from three days out of town last night after the kids went to bed. This morning Julianna and I had this conversation:
Me: Julianna, Lily's getting in the bath first. Put your jammies back on until it's your turn so you don't get cold....

Julianna crawls back into bed.

Me: Julianna! You are such your daddy's girl! You can't go back to bed!

Julianna giggles.

Me: Did you see that Daddy was home?

Julianna: Yes!

Me: How did you know?

Julianna: Because! There was a BIG BOY in your bed!!

The lame ophthalmology update

My appointment with the specialist was cancelled for the third time today.

I did talk to my regular eye doctor. He said based on my history with strabismus (lazy eye), and the fact that I had Lasik eye surgery two years ago, that this neuro ophthalmologist is the best doctor for me to see. This recommendation actually made me feel a little better. His assessment means that he thinks that the trouble has to do with my eye history and not the development of a new disorder. I feel better about the possibility of eye trouble than brain trouble.

It's with this attitude and recommendation that I will wait another week to see the same doctor that has cancelled three times. I am going to let the kind part of my heart assume that she is in fact very sick, and really can't help the situation that she has put me in. However, if it turns out she's just a pansy, I might have to punch her in the face. I probably won't punch her, but I might give her the mean stare down.

Stivers Summer Camp

My friend Lindsay sent me a blog link to a mom who had made up her own summer camp for her kids. This has made me so excited for summer. I am seriously considering doing a modified version of her idea. I love summer time anyway and I think my kids are old enough to do something like this. I'm not saying we will not be signing them up for any activities in the community-- just much less than I did in summers past. We are going to have our own fun at home.

The way I plan to spend several weeks of our summer is on a planned schedule. I'm hoping to have the kids help me to plan the weeks in advance so that I can get what we need ahead of time. And who doesn't love knowing what to expect?

This is how our week will go:

Make it Monday-- this is the day we might make cookies, or a fort, or a volcano. Whatever the projects that the kids have been thinking about. Be sure to make suggestions of what we can make if you have some!

Take a Trip Tuesday-- this is the day of the week that we will be taking our trips to the park or the museum or taking a road trip to see something fun. The trips I'm most looking forward to are our day trips to the farm to see my grandparents. (Who happen to be celebrating 58 years of marriage today!)

Wet Wednesday-- Wednesdays are the day for the pool or the water park of the sprinklers. It's the day we might spend the afternoon at the lake with a picnic.

Thinking Thursday-- this day is planned for learning about things the kids have been thinking about and want to learn more about. It might be birds or weather or basketball. Whatever it is, we will choose one thing each Thursday to think about. I think this will be our library day for us to get books about what we're thinking about. We will also use the internet to find interesting things about what we're thinking about that day. I'm looking forward to those dinner conversations!

Friend Friday-- Friend Friday is the day that all the kids get to chose a friend to have over for the afternoon. I'm hoping that with everyone having someone to play with, it will lessen the fighting over attention with our guests. I rarely let the kids have friends over so I know that this will be a special treat for the kids.

I know this may seem way too structured for the average family during the summer months. However, the children and I do so much better with something planned and expectations set. We are all already looking forward to Stivers Summer Camp!

what it feels like to me

My blog is where I go to record my life. I love this blog and what it means to my family. As I type this I'm thinking a lot about the idea of having a chronic illness and how that will effect my life. This blog is where I go to put thoughts out there and words onto a screen, so I'm going to share my thoughts tonight.

I am wondering if I'm really ready to face that I could have multiple sclerosis? Am I prepared for what that really means? I'm not sure. But there is no way of knowing until I know, ya know?

The chances of me having MS are low. That's what I tell myself. I remind myself that there aren't millions of people walking around with this disease. There are actually only 400,000 people in the United States. That's a small number when you think of the millions that live here. These are things I tell myself during the day as I try not to think about it at all. However,  two hours later of the same day I can be knee deep in  information about MS and see that I have many of the symptoms. In the good moments I think, "I can't have it. Everyone I know has at least a few of these symptoms." and then in the bad moments I think, "Oh my god. I have several of these symptoms. I very well could have MS." There seems to be no way of controlling where my mind wanders. I can turn off my computer and try not to think about it, but the unknown kills me and drives me back to the internet to search for a little shred of evidence that will say: "You don't have MS, Taylor. Don't be a crazy person." I am still looking.

Tom tells me, 'If we find out in a few months that you do actually have MS, we are not going to change the way we are living now. There is no reason to worry about it. You can't change it and you can't make yourself crazy over it.' I love Tom for telling me this. I love that he doesn't allow me to sink into crazy town where I drown in the depths of WebMD. But Tom can't crawl inside my brain. He cannot get me to actually stop thinking about these things. I wish he could. I wish he wasn't in Kansas City tonight so that I wasn't sitting here writing these personal, terrifying things onto my blog for everyone to read. But alas, he is not here. So I continue typing and sharing what it really feels like to find out you *might* have a scary, lifelong illness....but maybe you don't.

It could be months before we know anything definitive. I could go to this appointment and have the doctor tell me that there is a reasonable explanation for all of this. If that happens, I will breathe a sigh of relief and be grateful. I will kiss my husband, hug my kids and take the next step forward in my life. However, if we go to this appointment and they tell me that they need to run more tests, or that there isn't a clear answer, I will take a deep breath. I will then kiss my husband, hug my kids and take the next step forward in my life. Even if it means I will be stepping into the unknown.

Basketball, what?

 It's been said that Julianna is about as attentive as her mother. In other words, she is about as attentive as a gnat. At least this is true when it comes to things that don't interest her.

If I was forced to guess, I would guess that Julianna isn't that into basketball.

She had her last game this Saturday morning at the Sports Arena. She was not into it one bit. She was pretty happy when it was her turn to sit on the bench.

When we got home and I saw these pictures I'd taken it made me laugh. She is so clearly not paying attention that it is comical.

 

After the game on Saturday I was asking her what she liked better swimming or [fill in the blank here]. Her answer was always swimming. Every. Time. I think she and I are going to need to get some pool time in soon. This girl obviously has chlorine in her veins and not basketball fever.

make a note

Lily:* Have you made a note on the calendar that the first and second grade music program is the 5th of February?

Me: Yes, I have. Thanks.

Drew:** Next time you make a note, say that Drew did this on a day in January. [Makes the rock n roll sign and waves arm around.]

Me: Will do, will do.


*Yes, as a matter-of-fact, she did use these exact words in this exact order. And, yes, I do believe she is sometimes a small adult.

**Yes, as a matter-of-fact, Drew did do this exact thing on Sunday. It made me laugh for at least 10 minutes.

I know that Drew isn't making a rock n roll sign in this picture. But this picture makes me laugh for a different reason.
Drew....oh, Drew. You and your sour face make me laugh.

Outtakes of the Family Photo Shoot

 



These are the outtakes from our recent family picture session. We didn't hire a fancy photographer because it was last minute, for fun, and we wanted to try out my sister, Aunt Flash's, new camera. We took the pictures at the shop of Johnson Sheet Metal, my dad's family business since 1921. It was lots of fun and we got some great shots. Julianna (I know she wants to be called Jae, but I'm going to secretly call her Julianna for as long as I can...but that's another post.) Anyway, Julianna gave us the best outtake faces. She is one expressive child!



 

 

 

This is what we did when we were told to be goofy.

My sister accidentally turned on her automatic picture feature and it took 10 or so pictures right in a row. Julianna and I decided to be goofy for all the pictures.

There could be a whole book of Julianna faces. She is possibly the most expressive person ever.

Aren't we so funny?

Someone said something hilarious.

This is Tom's favorite picture of me from the day. Don't I look cool?

I don't know where Lily learned this goofy face.

I love this picture.

I guess this is where Lily learned that goofy pose from earlier.

Oh, Julianna!

I hope we take more time to take these family pictures. They are priceless. They will look great in the next edition of my blog book. My goal is to turn each year of the blog into an actual book. I love the idea of having a collection of my writings in an actual book for my children to hold onto and read in the years to come. Actually, they aren't really allowed to read the blog yet. I'm not always sharing things on the blog that they are ready to read about. They will have to wait a few years before they can see what Mom really thought about this stuff. :)

Jae

Julianna is still saying she wants us to call her Jae. She asked me how to spell it today and I looked up some feminine spellings of the name and found: Jaye, Jae, and Jai. I liked Jae best, and since Julianna is four, and I don't really want to change her name, I figure I get to chose the spelling. So Jae it is.

our week

Monday we celebrated Drew birthday day with some low key hanging out. I had a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning so I arranged for the kids to have two of their favorite young people over to babysit them. They had a great time with nerf gun wars and making forts. At one point Lily fell and scraped her knee. It bled and she was so excited because that meant she could look at her blood under her microscope.

For Drew's birthday dinner he chose oatmeal and toast. I was so happy with this choice. I was tired that evening and I needed something easy to make for dinner. Plus, as I explained to Drew, oatmeal is one of my comfort foods. I explained what comfort food meant and he said he already knew that. Then he explained that oatmeal was also one of his comfort foods because that was what he'd eaten the day he passed out. What my kids remember always amazes me...even if I know that those memories will eventually be replaced with multiplication facts and state capitols.

This week was also the week that Julianna put together some really amazing outfits:

I guess her outfits depend on what gender mood she's in. In one of these pictures she's a boy and in one she is a girl. I bet you can't guess which is which.

 

 

This week Lily grew up just a little bit more and got braces. She likes the idea of being grown up enough to have braces. But the reality of them isn't as fun. She is in a little bit of pain, plus she has a bead on the roof of her mouth to help with her tongue thrust. The bead gets in her way and makes it difficult to talk. Once she gets used to it, it should help to correct her speech and lesson the pressure she puts on her front teeth. But the part where she has to get used to it and actually correct her speech might be a long road for her. I will get back to you on that.

 

One more thing this week. Monday, as I mentioned, I had a doctor's appointment. It was an appointment with my optometrist because I've been having terrible eye aches that sometimes are so bad that I have to just go to bed and sleep them off. It finally had gotten so bad that I called the doctor. Well, my usual doctor was out of town. So I saw the other doctor in the practice and that doctor just happens to be a guy that I've known for my entire life. His mom and my mom were in business together when she was pregnant with me and his sister is my oldest friend in life. It was nice to see him. He ran every test he had and did a thorough exam. The only thing he found was that I am actually seeing colors differently out of my left eye. My left eye is the one that happens to be the one giving me trouble. Out of my left eye it seemed like the red color I was looking at had a shadow cast over in in grey. Dr. Ben told me that this could be a sign of MS and referred me to a neuro ophthalmologist to find out more. He is pretty sure that it has something to do with my optic nerve but didn't really have a less scary explanation for the color difference or eye aches I'm having. I'm nervous, but have realized within the last 24 hours that if it is something like MS that is giving me problems, I will not start living differently upon diagnosis. So I'm trying not to think about it and staying busy with my usual chores.

 

In an effort to stay busy and meet new people, I've joined a book club with my friend Myca. Last night was our first meeting. It was fun and I like all three of the other members. :) I have to say that I might be the only one that obsessively reads but they were all excited about getting started. In the end, we decided on a book that I had already read and loved. It's called The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. It's a great book club book and has everything a great book needs. If you haven't read it, you should. It is my Top Book of 2012 choice. It is a Young Adult novel that you don't have to be young to enjoy.  I would recommend it to all of you. The best part about the book club besides the people and the books has to be the name of our club. It makes me laugh just sitting here thinking about it. We call ourselves the Lit Lovers, which is probably the funniest thing ever.

 

 

Drew turns Six





 Dear Drew,

 

Okay, so your six now. What a year you've had. I have to be honest. You're starting to become a little more complex. Some days you are delightfully fun and sweet and eager to please. And some days you are the angst-y middle child that I recognize as myself. You still make me laugh - even on the days you are filled with angst and think that I make rules just to make your life miserable. Or that I don't make any rules for the girls, only you. And life is so unfair! I have a feeling it's going to be a pattern for you that I'm going to fight against for a long time. I understand it, but am frustrated by it just the same. Life is all about perception and if you perceive that I am out to get you... then I will, in fact, seem to be out to get you. I hope that you don't hang on to this pattern. And since I know a thing or two about that mentality, I hope I will be able to help you to see that you are loved and cherished and amazing and we love you just the way you are.

 

This year you started kindergarten. You are friends with every person in your class. I am not surprised one bit by that fact. Your teacher is always reminding me what a kind, sweet boy you are. You are very careful to always do the right thing and use your manners. You are clearly setting a good example for your peers and have already be rewarded for that by being named the Hawk Walker - an award given to kids who are making good choices and setting a good example. I love that you are so good at making friends. But I also love that you have such a strong moral compass. You are very good about following along with fun with your friends. But if they decide to break rules or act crazy, you usually don't go along with it. That is such a good thing. It is so good to be comfortable enough with yourself to know when it's better not to go with the crowd.

 

 I have also learned that you are amazingly good finding friends with good character. At your birthday party this weekend, my house was full of the sweetest boys in your class. That really made me feel great about sending you out into the big, bad world. :)

 

Speaking of going with the crowd, you are pretty obsessed with dressing just like everyone you have deemed "cool" at your school. You mostly go for skater chic...and pull it off quite nicely. In fact, you just got a new baseball cap for your birthday that you wear with a flat bill to the side, cocked at just the right angle to imply total awesomeness. The one gift that you asked for for your birthday was a new pair of shoes. You were very specific. High tops, with a big tongue that you can tuck your jeans behind. You are totally hip, dude.

 

If I had to pick things that you're into right now, I would say: basketball, fashion, and nerf guns. In that order. Your absolute, most favorite thing to do right now is shoot baskets with the neighbor boy. If he isn't home, or isn't outside, you will dribble in our driveway until you see him. And if he isn't home, and their car isn't in the driveway, you shoot baskets by yourself. It's basically the only thing you will ever do by yourself...as you are a kid who likes to be with people. At. All. Times.

 

Drew, happy birthday. You are one super awesome kid. I love you more than you can know. Enjoy being six, dude! I know I will be soaking up every moment I can have with you.

 

I love you.

 

Love,

Mommy (I figure I can get away with being called 'Mommy' by you only a little while longer.) 

  

 

So

So buff and manly!

You're saving your money for a bigger boogie board. I'm not sure it will work at the lake. But, good luck anyway.

You say this is your dog face.

What amazing running form you have.

Still best buds. Also, Drew, you always manage to display your meals on your face. How is that?

 

 

A dedication

I'm about to have another six year old in my house. I love six year olds. They are so delightful; smart and funny, aware of the world outside of themselves but still completely innocent to the true, scary real world. They could not be more fun to hang out with.

 

As I reflect on my son and his turning six, I think about the recent events at Sandy Hook Elementary. I know there were a lot of blog posts about that day directly after the horrific events. But as I sit here thinking about my amazing six year old, I still think of the children and families from that community.

 

I have no profound statements. No answers or long winded sorrows to air. I just want to take a moment to remember the families that do not get to do what I am doing this weekend. I want to take a moment to give thanks that tomorrow I get to have a house full of five and six year olds to celebrate the life of my son. I am just so amazingly blessed to be the mother of my three beautiful children. Everyday they give me something to smile about. There is not a day, or even an hour, that goes by that I don't consciously give thanks for my lot in life. What an amazing gift.

 

So, this is the moment on my blog where I give my support to the families in Newtown. I dedicate one of my most favorite poems to the families in that community. The poem where a child gets to stay Six for ever and ever.

 

 

Now I Am Six

 

When I was One,

I had just begun.

 

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

 

When I was Three,

I was hardly me.

 

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

 

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

 

But now I am Six, I'm clever as clever,

So I think I'll be Six for ever and ever.

Pod, J, and Skipping....

I hate when I hear kids say, "I need to go pee." I know it's personal preference...but it is just not the most polite way to tell someone you need to go to the bathroom. At our house we say, 'I need to go to the bathroom' or 'I need to go potty'. Now I know there are probably people out there that are turned off by my children saying 'potty' instead of something else...but, like I said, personal preference.

So that being said, Julianna has a new way of saying that she needs to go to the bathroom and it cracks me up. When she needs to go she tells me she says, "I need to go pod." I don't know why this is so funny to me and it is maybe not as blog worthy as I think. But, someday when I'm reading over my old blog posts, I think that the fact that Julianna once said "pod" instead of "potty" it will make me laugh.

In other, not so amusing, news...Julianna wants us to call her J instead of Julianna. I think it's her way of asserting that she is not a girly girl. I am sad about this because I love her name. I think her name is so beautiful...Julianna Kate. So anyway, if she asks, please call her J.

It's funny that she wants to have a boy name when she is so girly that she doesn't run during her basketball game. She flits and skips and  bounces and floats...but she does not run. :) What can I say? She is her own person and we love that about her.

I've got a brand new pair for roller skates (not really, but we want some!)

 

I took my kids to their very first school skating party today. It was everyone's first time to roller skate. They loved every minute of it. Julianna wasted no time at all and as soon as she had skates on her feet, she was on the rink skating around and around and didn't stop until I bought food. Both Drew and Julianna had "walkers" to help them learn to skate. By the end they were both done using the walkers and were skating around on their own. Lily was too embarrassed to use a walker, but not too embarrassed to have Mom hold her hand and walk around the rink with her a bit. I asked one of the employees to give her some tips on how to skate. Once the guy advised her on the best way to learn, it wasn't long before she was off and gone without me. It clearly goes without saying that Drew was cautious about skating...but you would all be surprised at how brave he was. He used the walker a lot but would often venture onto the floor without it. He did a lot of practicing on the carpeted areas. By the time we left they were all exhausted. If we'd been in the car seven minutes instead of five on the way home, Julianna would have been asleep.

 

I'm so glad we went today. These sorts of new activities make me nervous. I like to know exactly what to expect before I get there. I had a friend that was going and so she made it a lot easier for me. I love my friends so much. They know me so well that they know I need a run-down going into new situations. I'm glad Lindsay was there for moral support. I know it sounds crazy that the grown up mom would be nervous about going to the skating rink...but it's true for me. I love that I have a support network of friends that understand this about me and never seem to tire of answering all of my questions. The thing about my nerves...they are always gone within 10 minutes of the new situations beginning. You would think that I would know by now that there is nothing to be nervous about...but worrying is a hard habit to break. Baby steps....all the way to the skating rink. :) 

 

The following pictures are poor quality on my phone. The lighting makes it hard to get a good picture that isn't blurry.

 

 

This is probably the only moment Julianna was still enough for a picture.

Julianna having a wonderful time...probably going upstream. She had a hard time always remembering to go with the crowd.

I never could get a shot of Drew besides this one. He was having too much fun!

When we started Lily could barely skate and was nervous to go without me. If you know Lily, you know what a big deal it is that by the end of the afternoon Lily was skating with a friend during the couple skate. :)

Lily and Drew now both want roller skates for their birthdays.

Dancing lessons

 Tom and the kids did some dancing over the holidays. I wish I had my sister, Sarah, (whom I call Aunt Flash because she takes so many pictures everywhere she goes) with us this day. My camera and my photography skills are lacking. But I think the pictures show how much fun they were having. I'm pretty sure that I am going to have to pay for two little girls to take ballet lessons here in a couple years.

 

 

 

 

 

Julianna's Interview

I interviewed both Lily and Drew when they were about four and half. While I was going through old posts, I found the interviews and was excited to find out what Julianna had to say in her interview. I can tell by her answers that she is several month younger than the other two were...but she still gave me some good answers.

If you're interested in reading our previous interviews you can click on these links:

Lily's Interview

Drew's Interview

1. What is something your mom always says to you? Go to your room!

2. What makes mom happy? Smiles

3. What makes mom sad? When we do something rude

4. How does your mom make you laugh? You say funny things and make funny faces.

5. What was your mom like as a child? Um...babies. It means that you and me like babies.

6. How old is your mom? 14

7. How tall is your mom? Very tall. Like...this tall (reaches up above her head)

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Play babies

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Um...clean the dishes. Do the laundry and pick me up from school.

10. If your mom became famous, what would it be for? Do tricks

11. What is your mom really good at? washing dishes and setting the timer and put us in our room

12. What is your mom not very good at? Putting us to our room

13. What does your mom do for her job? She cleans the dishes

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Um, chicken noodle soup

15. What makes you proud of your mom? you happy

16. If your mom was a cartoon character, who would she be? Woody Woodpecker

17. What do you and your mom do together? I help you, kind of sometimes, clean the dishes with you.

18. How are you and your mom the same? Maybe when we wear the same boots

19. How are you and your mom different? wearing different clothes (Drew gave the same answer!)

20. How do you know your mom loves you? because I hug her so much...make a heart

Wait... what day is it?

We recently hung a giant chalkboard in our kitchen. I love it so much. Tom painted a calendar on it so that we could keep track of the days and activities for the kids. Every day I post what we are doing that day, and what we are planning for tomorrow. It is hard to miss, as it hangs right by our kitchen table and we can see it several times a day. So what I can't understand is how I still do not know what the date is from one day to the next. Like this Monday, for example, I had to sign some papers with the correct date and without even thinking about it, I signed them all with the wrong date. It's the story of my life.

When Lily was in first grade her teacher told us at conferences that Lily was always on top of the facts of any lesson they were learning in school. She knew so much about everything they covered in class. However, the teacher said, if you ask her what day it is, she will look at you like you're speaking another language. For the life I of me I do not know where Lily inherited that trait from.

dinner time conversations....again

Tonight Tom made us pancakes for dinner. While we was flipping the pancakes, he popped open a beer. This is not his normal habit so the kids noticed and commented. This is the dinnertime conversation we had tonight.

Drew: It'd be weird for a kid to have pop or beer with their dinner.

Me: Well, you can't have beer until you're a grown up. Only grown ups can drink beer.

Lily: Yeah, and then you should only have one a day.

Tom: You must be 21 to drink a beer but there is no rule about how many you can drink.

Me: Although it would be smart to only drink one every once in awhile instead of a lot.

Drew: Hey, Dad, when you got your new truck did you go out there with your truck, open a beer and say, 'Let's see what this baby needs.'?

Me: What?!

Tom: Huh? Where did you hear that?

Drew: I don't know. I just think it'd be weird.

Me: Did you see that on a commercial or something?

Drew: No....it'd just be funny, huh?

Drew is just full of good stuff these days!

sibling love

I am trying to get caught up on my blog. Here are some pictures of Drew and Julianna that I was going to share a few months ago....during the blog slump. I just love how sweet they look in these pictures.

 

 

 

I'm pretty sure they love each other.