I am hoping that if I write this down I will remember not only the conversation, but the way Drew speaks sometimes. There is no way to describe it on the blog, so somewhere in my brain i hope to save his tendency to speak with a southern twang and use such expressive words and faces.
Me, as I backed out of the driveway: Did you guys know that the guys from Daddy's work are going to be working on our street someday soon? They have their trucks right around the corner so they can do our neighborhood.
Lily: yeah...they are coming in December?
Me: not quite. It will be in September and October...hey, October is Daddy and my anniversary month!
Lily: do we have to get you a present?
Me: no, it's just between daddy and I. But I hope daddy gets me a present.
Drew: like what?
Me: I don't know....something nice....
Drew: oh, well, maybe a back scratch or something!? I don't know!!
Me: yeah, maybe. That is nice.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
57 years
57 Gifts, Lessons, and Memories from my Grandparents
1. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar.
2. You're not always going to get your way.
3. Getting an education is possibly the most important thing you can do for yourself.
4. Your childhood and who your parents are do not define you. You get to define yourself.
5. It's okay to make mistakes. But you better be damn sure to learn from them.
6. You can make a meal out of anything. Well, Mamaw can make a meal out of anything.
7. A person should have the correct tools. In the barn and in the kitchen.
8. Learning disabilities can make things more difficult, but never impossible. You set your limits, your disability does not.
9. It is important for your partner to appreciate you for who you are and what your bring to the table.
10. Do not take life and life's decisions too seriously. It's not a sex change.
11. If your partner is in a bad mood it's better to give space than to give advice.
12. Helping someone to clean their kitchen or hang a picture or fix the fence are really the best gifts to give, and receive.
13. Nothing beats a Melvin L when you need a sweet treat.
14. Sometimes the right outfit can make things better in life.
15. Pepsi is delicious, especially when shared with Mamaw.
16. Jokes about the unmentionables in life are funny no matter how old you are.
17. Never stop asking questions.
18. Go to the doctor for your regular check-ups.
19. Go to the doctor if something concerns you. Don't wait.
20. Find humor in your partner's bad habits.
21. It's important to know when to stay and when to go.
22. Whining about anything gets you no where.
23. It's better to learn your lesson and move forward because sometimes looking back is no longer helpful.
24. Love is not in words spoken, but in actions taken.
25. Stand up for yourself because sometimes you are the only one who will.
26. When you can, give back to those whom are less fortunate than you.
27. Money cannot make you happy, but it sure as hell makes things easier.
28. You can help people only has much as they are willing to be helped. After that, you just have to let it be.
29. It is not your partner's job to make you happy. That's your job.
30. Flirt with your spouse when you children can see you.
31. There is always another book to read.
32. It's never too early for your first driving lesson at the farm. Papaw gave me my first driving lesson. I was eleven-years-old.
33. It's important to know how to use public transit...even if you live in Kansas. I had my first plane ride, first taxi ride, and first subway ride with Mamaw and Papaw.
34. You'll never know if you don't try.
35. Always make sure the animals are fed and the chickens are in.
36. Always set your goals high with the intent of remaining upwardly mobile.
37. When you can't stop eating the Hot Tamales, ask someone to hide them from you...but be sure to see where.
38. You're only as old as you act.
39. It's okay to take a day off or to take a nap. (I learned this one from Mamaw.)
40. If you're the type to lose your keys then have a spare. And another spare.
41. You can send the neighbor kid home to have his own mother wipe his nose.
42. You do not need to include everyone in your life.
43. There is always satisfaction in a hard day's work.
44. You and your partner do not need to agree on everything. Sometimes it's even okay to disagree on the big stuff...as long as you allow space for it.
45. Being sentimental does not require having "stuff."
46. On the other hand, saving letters, pictures and memories for your grandchildren is important too.
47. You can make a home anywhere if you love who you're with.
48. Make lists to help you remember what you're always forgetting.
49. You are constantly evolving so never stop trying to improve yourself.
50. You always have something more to learn.
51. Make sure that your guests always have enough to eat.
52. It's important to make room for your family to come home.
53. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is to just show up.
54. Pie. Everything can be made better with pie.
55. It's okay not to send a card.
56. You do not need to run with the crowd. It's okay to hang out by yourself.
57. Honesty is the best policy.
1. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar.
2. You're not always going to get your way.
3. Getting an education is possibly the most important thing you can do for yourself.
4. Your childhood and who your parents are do not define you. You get to define yourself.
5. It's okay to make mistakes. But you better be damn sure to learn from them.
6. You can make a meal out of anything. Well, Mamaw can make a meal out of anything.
7. A person should have the correct tools. In the barn and in the kitchen.
8. Learning disabilities can make things more difficult, but never impossible. You set your limits, your disability does not.
9. It is important for your partner to appreciate you for who you are and what your bring to the table.
10. Do not take life and life's decisions too seriously. It's not a sex change.
11. If your partner is in a bad mood it's better to give space than to give advice.
12. Helping someone to clean their kitchen or hang a picture or fix the fence are really the best gifts to give, and receive.
13. Nothing beats a Melvin L when you need a sweet treat.
14. Sometimes the right outfit can make things better in life.
15. Pepsi is delicious, especially when shared with Mamaw.
16. Jokes about the unmentionables in life are funny no matter how old you are.
17. Never stop asking questions.
18. Go to the doctor for your regular check-ups.
19. Go to the doctor if something concerns you. Don't wait.
20. Find humor in your partner's bad habits.
21. It's important to know when to stay and when to go.
22. Whining about anything gets you no where.
23. It's better to learn your lesson and move forward because sometimes looking back is no longer helpful.
24. Love is not in words spoken, but in actions taken.
25. Stand up for yourself because sometimes you are the only one who will.
26. When you can, give back to those whom are less fortunate than you.
27. Money cannot make you happy, but it sure as hell makes things easier.
28. You can help people only has much as they are willing to be helped. After that, you just have to let it be.
29. It is not your partner's job to make you happy. That's your job.
30. Flirt with your spouse when you children can see you.
31. There is always another book to read.
32. It's never too early for your first driving lesson at the farm. Papaw gave me my first driving lesson. I was eleven-years-old.
33. It's important to know how to use public transit...even if you live in Kansas. I had my first plane ride, first taxi ride, and first subway ride with Mamaw and Papaw.
34. You'll never know if you don't try.
35. Always make sure the animals are fed and the chickens are in.
36. Always set your goals high with the intent of remaining upwardly mobile.
37. When you can't stop eating the Hot Tamales, ask someone to hide them from you...but be sure to see where.
38. You're only as old as you act.
39. It's okay to take a day off or to take a nap. (I learned this one from Mamaw.)
40. If you're the type to lose your keys then have a spare. And another spare.
41. You can send the neighbor kid home to have his own mother wipe his nose.
42. You do not need to include everyone in your life.
43. There is always satisfaction in a hard day's work.
44. You and your partner do not need to agree on everything. Sometimes it's even okay to disagree on the big stuff...as long as you allow space for it.
45. Being sentimental does not require having "stuff."
46. On the other hand, saving letters, pictures and memories for your grandchildren is important too.
47. You can make a home anywhere if you love who you're with.
48. Make lists to help you remember what you're always forgetting.
49. You are constantly evolving so never stop trying to improve yourself.
50. You always have something more to learn.
51. Make sure that your guests always have enough to eat.
52. It's important to make room for your family to come home.
53. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is to just show up.
54. Pie. Everything can be made better with pie.
55. It's okay not to send a card.
56. You do not need to run with the crowd. It's okay to hang out by yourself.
57. Honesty is the best policy.
My grandparents have been married for 57 years. Fifty-seven. These pictures are from their 50th wedding anniversary. They are re-enacting their wedding day photo. I'm pretty sure you can tell from the pictures how much they still like each other.
Happy Anniversary Mamaw and Papaw.
I love you.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
a shout out
Well, actually, it's a shout out about my husband.
You guys, he did something amazing for me this weekend.
Remember I told you that I lost my good friend Gary on the 27th of December? Well, his funeral was in New Mexico. Nine and a half hours from my house.
When I received the news about Gary I hung up the phone in a little bit of shock. Tom didn't skip a beat and asked me where we were going. He started planning our trip to gather with Gary's family immediately. Even when he found out it was in New Mexico.
Due to time constraints because of three busy children, we had 48 hours to make the trip. I know that this sounds crazy....but Tom totally drove me to New Mexico anyway. We got to spend an entire day with Gary's family sharing memories, laughs and tears. At the end of the day, Tom and I started home. We left at 5 pm on Friday and arrived to pick up our children from my parents house at 2:30 pm Sunday.
In my opinion, that's a pretty amazing gift. I will be forever grateful.
PS I also should make a point to tell you that Tom could not have done this without my parents and siblings. They unselfishly stepped in to take care of our kids for the weekend so that we could go. That is also a gift that cannot be repaid. I have the best family.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
i promise...
Sometimes it's a wonder I can function in the adult world. This morning this is how the conversation went:
Tom: Do you have something to tell me?
Taylor: *panic look*
Tom: Uhh...
Taylor: Ummm....I'm sorry?
Tom: Really?? That's it?
Taylor: Thank you?
Tom: Ok. So now you can never hold my forgetting against me!! What about 'happy anniversary'?!
Taylor: Oh yeah!! Duh!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Tom: Oh! It's too late!!!
Well, Tom, it only slipped my mind for a moment. I made this video for you a few months ago.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I believe the word you're searching for is: insane
I'll admit it. I've been going a little nuts lately. I actually can't help it...I know that it's not the logical part of my brain at work. (Is there a logical part of my brain?) But, despite understanding my insanity, I cannot seem to stop it. I think I've come up with a solution to the problem, though. Now, the solution may sound as crazy as the problem, but as I said before....there may not be a logical thought in my brain.
Today, five years ago, Tom and I signed the papers to buy the house we live in. We had stars in our eyes and thought this house was perfect. Oh my god if I could talk to that crazy couple! I would tell them to be patient. That their family was going to grow quickly beyond what this house could hold. Wait a second, breathe and don't buy this house. But, alas, I cannot speak to us then. I can only try really hard not to make the same mistakes again and rush into buying our next house.
Yup, that's right.
We're moving.
This year, in fact.
Exciting, right?
A happy time. Right?
Well, I'm sure it would be happy if you weren't insane like me....
For me the thought of buy our next home gets me very excited. I begin to hyper focus on all the possibilities. What needs to be done with this house. Where our next house will be. How much do we really want to spend? Do I mind that Lily might change schools? Or even school districts? Would it be okay if we bought a house with a pool? How will I manage the kids while the house is on the market? How quickly can we really get our house ready? Will it be weeks? A few more months? Should I peruse real estate sites now? Or wait until we're really, really ready to buy? Should we call the real estate agent now? Next week? The day after we finish the planned home improvement projects? If I find a house I like, will it still be there when we're ready to buy?
So, like I said...insane. My brain cannot handle all of the unknown facts that I am facing right now. My anxiety shoots through the roof. I can't sleep. I can think about nothing else. Almost everything I do in my daily life somehow can be connected to moving. I cannot make my mind shut up about it.
So....after all of this mind chatter, I am finally going to share my solution:
I am no longer moving. I am not planning, packing, looking at real estate, dreaming of decorating or furniture placement. I am not discussing future budgets, future down payments or any future scenario. I am going to give Tom my wish list. He will decide when our home improvement projects are done enough to call the agent. I don't want to talk about all the possible housing options. I don't want to even know what's on the market. Tom knows what I like and when it's time, he will narrow down the choices. I don't want to know that we're moving until it's time to sign the papers. Don't even tell me the night before. Just drive me to the office, tell me where to sign and leave me out of it.
I know that this sounds crazy. I know that the solution doesn't even seem realistic. How could I really surrender so much to my partner? Easy. I'm insane. The anxiety that this move is creating is really not healthy. My irrational thoughts are causing stress for everyone living in my house. I just don't want to know anything about it anymore. I am more than happy to clean, pack and organize. I am more than willing to paint, hammer, dig or build anything that needs to be painted, hammered, dug or built. However, I don't want a timeline. I don't want a million choices. I just want to wake up one morning and find out that today is the day I'm moving.
Today, five years ago, Tom and I signed the papers to buy the house we live in. We had stars in our eyes and thought this house was perfect. Oh my god if I could talk to that crazy couple! I would tell them to be patient. That their family was going to grow quickly beyond what this house could hold. Wait a second, breathe and don't buy this house. But, alas, I cannot speak to us then. I can only try really hard not to make the same mistakes again and rush into buying our next house.
Yup, that's right.
We're moving.
This year, in fact.
Exciting, right?
A happy time. Right?
Well, I'm sure it would be happy if you weren't insane like me....
For me the thought of buy our next home gets me very excited. I begin to hyper focus on all the possibilities. What needs to be done with this house. Where our next house will be. How much do we really want to spend? Do I mind that Lily might change schools? Or even school districts? Would it be okay if we bought a house with a pool? How will I manage the kids while the house is on the market? How quickly can we really get our house ready? Will it be weeks? A few more months? Should I peruse real estate sites now? Or wait until we're really, really ready to buy? Should we call the real estate agent now? Next week? The day after we finish the planned home improvement projects? If I find a house I like, will it still be there when we're ready to buy?
So, like I said...insane. My brain cannot handle all of the unknown facts that I am facing right now. My anxiety shoots through the roof. I can't sleep. I can think about nothing else. Almost everything I do in my daily life somehow can be connected to moving. I cannot make my mind shut up about it.
So....after all of this mind chatter, I am finally going to share my solution:
I am no longer moving. I am not planning, packing, looking at real estate, dreaming of decorating or furniture placement. I am not discussing future budgets, future down payments or any future scenario. I am going to give Tom my wish list. He will decide when our home improvement projects are done enough to call the agent. I don't want to talk about all the possible housing options. I don't want to even know what's on the market. Tom knows what I like and when it's time, he will narrow down the choices. I don't want to know that we're moving until it's time to sign the papers. Don't even tell me the night before. Just drive me to the office, tell me where to sign and leave me out of it.
I know that this sounds crazy. I know that the solution doesn't even seem realistic. How could I really surrender so much to my partner? Easy. I'm insane. The anxiety that this move is creating is really not healthy. My irrational thoughts are causing stress for everyone living in my house. I just don't want to know anything about it anymore. I am more than happy to clean, pack and organize. I am more than willing to paint, hammer, dig or build anything that needs to be painted, hammered, dug or built. However, I don't want a timeline. I don't want a million choices. I just want to wake up one morning and find out that today is the day I'm moving.
Monday, February 28, 2011
i love you. but....
We were driving to get lunch after doing our weekly grocery shopping. We had been hanging out kid-free for close to 18 hours by then. At some point in the drive Tom says to me, "If I could change just one thing about you..."
And I was thinking, "OMG! What have I done?! Did I hog the bed last night? Steal all of the covers? Oh! I know, he hates it when I wake him up in the mornings at 5:15 so I can workout....he hates me!"
And Tom continues, "Now, if it was just ONE thing....it would be...."
In my mind, "Oh god! He hates that I am always interrupting him. I know I drive him crazy with that. I try really hard to hold my thoughts inside...I know it must be annoying to live with someone that is constantly interrupting! Gahhh!"
"It would be for you to..."
To myself, "I know he hates the way I drive. Well, what can I say? I pay attention, I follow the rules. I haven't backed into anything in over a year...it was just that couple of weeks once...I just backed into two things in two weeks...but that was SO LONG AGO. How can he still be worried about my driving?!"
"... to like seafood."
"Oh...You mean it's not that I leave my dirty laundry all over the closet? Or that I don't hang your shirts up right out of the dryer?"
"There are just so many menu options when you eat fish. Travelling is so much more fun at the ocean when you can try all sorts of new options."
You're kidding. All of my blanket stealing, messy, absent-minded procrastinating and bad driving...and he just wants me to like seafood....
"It really is delicious."
 |
| just so you know, i am wearing a strapless dress in this picture. :) |
Thursday, November 4, 2010
love letters
I found a two page handwritten letter from Tom today. The coolest part about the letter is that he'd written it 10 years ago. He was at KU and I was at Emporia State. We were best friends and it had never occurred to me to see him any other way. Silly, silly girl.
It's a lovely letter that talks about the weather, his homework and about how one of our friends was trying to find someone to set him up with. But, the best part is when he talks about what he's considering getting me for my birthday (two months late). Apparently he was going to get me a giant poster to hang on my wall. And since he was discussing birthday presents, he wanted to give me some ideas for what to get him for his upcoming birthday. He'd cut out a picture of a fancy Rolex watch and pasted it at the bottom of the page with the comment, "I think the bezel on this one would look particularly nice with a KU sweatshirt. Don't you?"
It's a lovely letter that talks about the weather, his homework and about how one of our friends was trying to find someone to set him up with. But, the best part is when he talks about what he's considering getting me for my birthday (two months late). Apparently he was going to get me a giant poster to hang on my wall. And since he was discussing birthday presents, he wanted to give me some ideas for what to get him for his upcoming birthday. He'd cut out a picture of a fancy Rolex watch and pasted it at the bottom of the page with the comment, "I think the bezel on this one would look particularly nice with a KU sweatshirt. Don't you?"
He and I have come a long way since then. We've been married five years this year and things just keep getting better. What he has given me over these years is way better than a poster. I'm hoping he feels the same way about me and the Rolex.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
New commitments
I don't want to just be a mommy blogger. Which is hard because I am a mommy who blogs. I love writing the stories of my life and most of them involve my children. However, with Lily getting older and starting school, I feel like her stories aren't my stories to share anymore. This whole "avoiding the mommy blogging" thing is the reason there hasn't been an update in awhile. I am struggling with which direction to take the blog, what I feel comfortable still sharing and figuring out what to talk about when my life still revolves around my children.
I do have one thing though! It's exciting and has nothing to do with children!
Recently, I made a commitment to myself. I decided that I needed to to do more for me. That might sound selfish, but as I mentioned earlier, everything revolves around my children right now. That's not always a good thing for a person's mental and emotional health, nor is it very good for the brain. So, I made a commitment to read more and watch TV less. I have recently even tried to get Tom to give up cable all together. No luck. However, even with all the options cable television offers, nothing compares to a good book. In these last few months, I have read more books than I had in the last 5 years combined. And it's been awesome.
A few months ago, I told Tom that since I was turning 30 this year, I wanted a special present. I didn't give him much direction, so he was pretty much on his own. I should also say that Tom and I don't really exchange gifts with any regularity. We live on a budget, buy what we need and that's that. It was a big deal to ask for a gift, let alone a "special" one. But, I have to say, he knocked it out of the park with this one! He got me a Kindle. If you don't know what that is, it's an electronic book that I can download books onto. 3,500 books AT ONE TIME. I cannot even explain how perfect this gift was for me. Needless to say, I am extremely happy with my birthday present!
Whew. That wasn't so hard. I can write about something other than children! I hope that you guys keep reading as I try to navigate parenting in a new stage. I am on the tail-end of babies and speeding straight towards childhood. The blogging possibilities are endless...I just have to figure out where my niche is. It will be fun discovering out who I am and how I've changed as I emerge from the baby fog.
I do have one thing though! It's exciting and has nothing to do with children!
Recently, I made a commitment to myself. I decided that I needed to to do more for me. That might sound selfish, but as I mentioned earlier, everything revolves around my children right now. That's not always a good thing for a person's mental and emotional health, nor is it very good for the brain. So, I made a commitment to read more and watch TV less. I have recently even tried to get Tom to give up cable all together. No luck. However, even with all the options cable television offers, nothing compares to a good book. In these last few months, I have read more books than I had in the last 5 years combined. And it's been awesome.
A few months ago, I told Tom that since I was turning 30 this year, I wanted a special present. I didn't give him much direction, so he was pretty much on his own. I should also say that Tom and I don't really exchange gifts with any regularity. We live on a budget, buy what we need and that's that. It was a big deal to ask for a gift, let alone a "special" one. But, I have to say, he knocked it out of the park with this one! He got me a Kindle. If you don't know what that is, it's an electronic book that I can download books onto. 3,500 books AT ONE TIME. I cannot even explain how perfect this gift was for me. Needless to say, I am extremely happy with my birthday present!
Whew. That wasn't so hard. I can write about something other than children! I hope that you guys keep reading as I try to navigate parenting in a new stage. I am on the tail-end of babies and speeding straight towards childhood. The blogging possibilities are endless...I just have to figure out where my niche is. It will be fun discovering out who I am and how I've changed as I emerge from the baby fog.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Parenting vs. Marriage
Some people have asked this question: Which is harder, parenting or marriage? Hmmm....let me think. Well, for a few reasons I think I'm going to say that parenting is more difficult. Why? Well, for a few reasons that I list here:
1. My husband has never puked, pooped or peed on me. Never. However, all three of my kids have done all of these things on me. More than once.
2. My husband's choices in life do not reflect on me. Yeah, if he makes a bad choice people may wonder what I was thinking, being married to him and all. However, when my children make bad choices, people will say it's because Tom and I did something to screw them up.
3. It is not my job to shape my husband into the person that he is meant to be. His parents did the hard part. It's my job to keep my relationship with him close and strong. With my children, it's my job to make them who they are to become; or at least start them out on the correct path towards a positive and successful future. I am only here to love and support my husband as he walks his path in life.
4. I'm not in charge of the little things for my husband. He can take care of brushing his teeth, going to the bathroom and washing his own hair. With my children they all still require some level of support during grooming activities. It's on me if one of them shows up to the dentist with 16 cavities.
5. Children have Bad table manners? Again, on me.
6. Bullying, mean, crass or inappropriate behavior coming from my children? Once again, on me!
So, from the looks of things...the hardest part of marriage so far is learning to communicate with each other and finding time to spend together just the two of us. The hardest part about parenting? All of it! Because even the sweet amazing moments that come with being a parent are few and fleeting. So, turn to you partner in life and thank them for not pooping on you.
1. My husband has never puked, pooped or peed on me. Never. However, all three of my kids have done all of these things on me. More than once.
2. My husband's choices in life do not reflect on me. Yeah, if he makes a bad choice people may wonder what I was thinking, being married to him and all. However, when my children make bad choices, people will say it's because Tom and I did something to screw them up.
3. It is not my job to shape my husband into the person that he is meant to be. His parents did the hard part. It's my job to keep my relationship with him close and strong. With my children, it's my job to make them who they are to become; or at least start them out on the correct path towards a positive and successful future. I am only here to love and support my husband as he walks his path in life.
4. I'm not in charge of the little things for my husband. He can take care of brushing his teeth, going to the bathroom and washing his own hair. With my children they all still require some level of support during grooming activities. It's on me if one of them shows up to the dentist with 16 cavities.
5. Children have Bad table manners? Again, on me.
6. Bullying, mean, crass or inappropriate behavior coming from my children? Once again, on me!
So, from the looks of things...the hardest part of marriage so far is learning to communicate with each other and finding time to spend together just the two of us. The hardest part about parenting? All of it! Because even the sweet amazing moments that come with being a parent are few and fleeting. So, turn to you partner in life and thank them for not pooping on you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
