Sometimes

Sometimes my life feels like an episode of I Love Lucy.

In my opinion, the best part of being a stay at home mom is the fun activities you get to do with your kids. You get to be the one to take them to Story hour at the library, drop them off and pick them up from school, take them to playgroups and various community activities. That's the fun part. Making friends with the other moms that are out and about with their kids. Running here and there experiencing their childhood with them. Getting to do those things with my kids just about everyday of the week, makes it fun for me.

Sometimes, however, I'm so bored staying home with my children that I dream of finding a job. Getting bored and unengaged isn't good for anyone, but I've found that nothing can really combat this heavy feeling. I just happens sometimes. I often wonder if my kids would be better off at a high quality daycare than home with a mom who gets SO BORED. At least at daycare they would be busy learning and engaging with peers. At home, unless we are out and about, they are pretty much on their own a lot of the time. I do make them their meals, and provide structure within their day, but when it comes to entertainment? They are on their own. Is this really a good thing? I don't really know.

I admire working moms who hold everything together. I know that even if I found a job, I would still have to keep up with the laundry, the cleaning, and the cooking. That doesn't go away with a job. However, if I had a job, I might find something for myself there. I don't feel like I have something for myself right now. Yes, I love being with my kids doing playgroup and gymnastics. But, I'm just so bored most of the other time of the day. Does anyone else secretly feel this way? Because I know I'm not finding the joy in cleaning up sticky peanut butter messes and spending another long winter afternoon with nothing to distract me from going insane.