Old Yeller

If you are currently a parent of children that live in your house...do you yell at them? Be honest!

I never yelled at my children until I had a three year old. I was calm cool and collected up until that point. But, something about a three year old with the language to argue and opinions about life, make it extremely difficult to not be frustrated or loose your temper. For example, this morning, I was trying to get everyone out the door on time. Today the weather is 39 degrees and windy. I wanted Lily to wear socks with her shoes and Drew to wear his coat. Both were a battles that made my voice rise. Ultimately, the both complied. However, not because I was yelling, but because I was being more stubborn than they were. What does that mean really? To me it means that if I just stick to my guns, keep my tone level, and don't get sucked into an argument, that I would win every time without raising my voice.


Honestly, I don't yell because it gets better results, nor do I yell because it makes me feel better...it just comes out. If a child is not following directions, or arguing with me, yelling has never gotten me the results I desire. So, my question is, why do we yell? (I don't have an answer, I'm just asking).


I don't ever want to be a screamer parent. I usually only yell under extreme stress. But I do yell. I don't want to be known as the mom that looses her cool. I want to be known as the firm, patient parent; by my children and fellow adults. So far, I have only yelled at them in the confines of our little house...and I hope to never be to the point that I'm screaming in public. Have you ever heard the screamer parents in the grocery store or at a restaurant? Whenever I do, I wonder to myself what it must be like at home. Because if they are yelling this loud at their children in public, what is happening at home? It's gotta be way worse at home!


I hope blogging about this downfall of mine will help me to hold a higher standard for myself. Now that I'm being honest about my parenting style, hopefully the yelling will disappear and be replaced with a calm, but firm attitude. On occasion, I have been known to remain completely calm under stress, really, I have. I am aware, while typing this during the quiet of nap time, that it's a child's job to learn and explore. It's my job to remain calm and teach by example.