Kindergarten letter to Drew

Dear Drew,

You were off to school today. You had no reservations, questions, or concerns right up until the last second. Even then the only way I knew you were getting nervous was because I captured it in a very telling photograph.

When you were first born you wanted me to hold you at all times. It was a rare moment when I could lay you down and walk away. It was six months before I could get you to sleep in your crib and not next to me in my bed. I loved snuggling you and being near you but I wondered how we would ever make it to the day where you were ready to venture out into the world without me. We made it. You have remained ever close to me. You are my child that wants to be with me as much as possible. You follow me around asking if I will play with you, get you a snack, or even offer to do chores with me. There were days that I wanted to hide from your constant pestering! But you know what? All that time and attention and love we poured into each other during those early years are the reason I know that you can go out and remain the sweet strong boy you are.  I am so grateful that we had that time and were able to share so much before you went off to start school.

A few weeks ago as we snuggled in your bed before you went to sleep, we were chatting about our day and about life in general. During this conversation you shared that your favorite thing to do with dad was to shoot guns and work on stuff. I asked you what your favorite thing to do with me was and you looked at me right in the eye and said, "This, what we are doing right now. This is my favorite." I melted into a puddle and then I agreed. Those times that we sit close and share our thoughts with each other will not last forever. Right now you do not understand how fleeting those moments are. I do. I understand that I am getting closer and closer to the day that I will not be the one snuggled close to you. I will not be the one to hear your deepest thoughts. It's part of the deal in life. When you raise kids, you only get to keep them for a little while. It's not long before they are off to do big things...and if you're a parent who did it right, your child will be ready to go....without mom.

Okay, so that last part made me cry. I do not want to be sad today. This is a day to be celebrated. Drew, you are so great and awesome. You are funny and stubborn and loving and brave. You know exactly who you are and who you want to be. I can't even count how many times a person has met you and come to me later to share that you were the most delightful, darling boy. More than once someone has stopped me to share that you were the cutest or sweetest boy. Lord knows I know you're not perfect and you will have obstacles to overcome in life. Just know that being perfect and loved by all is not the goal in life. My hope for you is that you will live with integrity, show kindness and acceptance, and that you will have enough love in your life always. My hope is you remain yourself as you continue your education. It's no easy task but I have confidence you will do it. When life gets hard, I am always right here to cheer you on.

I love you sweet boy,
Mom