neglectful parenting leads to resourceful children

I try and use a little neglect to promote a little independence in my children. Isn't that my job? To give kids the tools to be resourceful, smart, independent adults? I think that starts with a little bit of parental example, a little bit of parental direction, and a little bit of parental neglect.

Yesterday morning Drew told me he was ready to take his training wheels off of his bike and try out the two wheeled riding again. We have taken the training wheels off many times before but Drew, and his sense of balance, were never quite ready. So when he asked me to help him with the bike activity again, I put him off a bit. I told him I'd be out in a little while after I finished my morning chores.

This little bit of neglect prompted Drew to find the tools required to remove said training wheels; remove the wheels; and teach himself to ride a two wheeled bicycle.

Now, before you start to think that I'm the worst most terrible mom ever, please remember that I have previous helped Drew to remove the training wheels and also had spent many an afternoon chasing him around and helping him to balance on the bike. It just so happened that yesterday was the day he was actually ready to learn the skill.

Today was the day that Drew learned to do some "tricks." He thought it was super daring and awesome to ride his bike off the curb into the street right where the driveway meets the curb, and the mailbox. He did it a thousand times and then he crashed and his face landed on the mailbox post. The first official injury inducing bike crash left his face with a huge scrape, his cheek with a puffy bruise and his glasses bent completely out of whack.

He walked away from the accident and remained strong through his tears. He has recently gotten the message that he should be tough and "tough it out" when he gets hurt. I can't imagine where he got that message, TOM. But, anyway, I try and give the poor boy permission to cry when he is hurt or sad...as long as it doesn't turn into whining, you are a tough cookie in my book. I hate that gender expectations cause boys to think that have to be tough and strong all time....but that's another post.