I feel like I need to apologize to you. It seems that you've grown up into a lovely young woman and I am still treating you like my baby. You should know that I'm trying hard to meet you where you are and that it might take me some time to adjust to having such a mature, well-spoken, smart, creative kid around. Don't get me wrong, you have always been smart and creative...however, you haven't always been mature and well spoken. I am trying to get used to that. Trust me when I say I am happy to be in this place with you. But also trust me when I say that it is extremely difficult to see your child grow up so fast and show so many signs of being completely independent. I'm working on it.
This year we have seen you become a dancer. Way back when you had your very year of preschool I remember Miss Shanna telling me, "This girl loves to dance!!" Apparently, I wasn't paying attention to how true that was. You have been telling me for a long time that you wanted to try dance...and we did. We tried when you were very small and then again at the beginning of kindergarten. In those instances, things did not go well. The studios we tried were not a good fit. However, you showed me your commitment to becoming a dancer with sheer persistence. You asked me consistently for one whole year before I said yes. You gave up swimming lessons and all other activities to give dance a go. It turns out, you love it. Just like Miss Shanna said you did. We found a really great studio for you. The teachers are firm, passionate and have done well at adjusting to find your strengths. I can see you working very hard to learn your steps. I have also seen you lost in your happy place while at dance class while you pretend to be a snowflake. It was not a mistake to put you in dance. You have more than exceeded our expectations with your commitment.
During your sixth year I spent a lot of quiet moments reflecting on your life. It seemed like this year, more than any year before it, you were completely you. I don't know if that makes sense....but we spent a lot of your early years struggling to make sure that you could express yourself and allow you to learn from your mistakes. This is the first year that the idea that if you, Dad, and I worked together we could accomplish a lot more than if you fought against us. This year you identified, for the first time, that our boundaries were not there to hurt you or to make you mad. The boundaries were to keep you safe and healthy. Let's be honest, we are still struggling sometimes to find a balance with each other. We still have our days where you and I want to scream and slam our bedroom doors. However, those moments seem farther and farther apart; and the time where we can talk about our feelings and our mistakes with calm, loving conversations have happened more and more often. We did that together. I couldn't have do it without you.
I hear all time time how special you are. I have been stopped by strangers who tell me just how amazing you are. There are so many people who love you. There are so many people watching you grow up and enjoying the story of your life. You are one of a kind. I have no doubt you will do great things. I love you.
Love,
Mom
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