a new chapter begins

I've been thinking about this post for weeks. I wondered what I would say. How I would feel. Now, I am still wondering what to say. And I'm still wondering how I feel.

Yesterday I ended a chapter in my life. A chapter so long that I don't remember it starting.

My mom says she took me to my first optometry appointment when I was six months old. My left eye would drift off a lot and she was worried about it.

At two I had my first surgery. The doctors had told my parents that if they didn't fix my eyes right away, I would become blind in my left eye. I had another corrective surgery at four years old. And then another one at six. I wore a patch on my right eye off and on for years. We had to put painful eye drops in my eyes everyday for over two years. And I got my first pair of glasses in kindergarten.

In a way, my eyes, and the struggle surrounding them, has defined a big part of me. I can't tell you how many times my vision, or lack of vision, has affected me. Some examples include: I couldn't read street signs until I was on top of them; I couldn't read the score of the basketball game; I could never sit too far away from teh front of the classroom; and I've never been able to spot things at a distance. I didn't see my first shooting star until I was well into my teens. I cannot imagine how many times someone has said to me, "Wow! Look over there! DID YOU SEE THAT?!" The answer was usually no, but sometimes I would just go along with the fun...despite missing whatever awesomeness everyone else was witnessing.

Now, I totally get that these things are not a big deal. I definitely could have gone the rest of my life wearing contacts and missing street signs. I was happy, healthy and well adjusted.

But, yesterday my life changed dramatically all the same. Yesterday, I had my fourth eye surgery. Except this one actually fixed my eyes. Today when I went for my follow-up I read the line on the eye chart that equals 20/20 vision. Me, who two days ago, couldn't see the big E on the chart. Me, who two days ago couldn't read the 20/20 line with my glasses on.

Today I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have contacts in. I am seeing things that I've never seen before. I am reading street signs a block or so before I arrive to the street.

I know that there are bigger things in life...but for me, this is big. My whole life I have dreamed of waking up in the morning and just seeing. I had always thought that to open my eyes and see would be the greatest gift.

That day has arrived.

My mind is blown.

My life will never be the same.

And I am so incredibly grateful.

So grateful.