life, love and the pursuit of happiness

My best friend doesn't live in the same town as me. She is not married, has no children and is a full time graduate student in clinical psychology. She is four years younger than me, is not sure if she'll ever have children and is currently deciding what to do before beginning her PhD. Her life does not mirror mine at all. Our lives really have nothing in common. Our friendship does not revolve around commonality of situation or lifestyle. Our friendship comes from a different place all together. It is a hard thing to explain - she is my person. Sarah and I have been friends for a long time and I cannot imagine my life without her. In some ways, she is the reason I am who I am.

Often when people get married they think that their new spouse should provide all things emotionally. However, I think that people are underestimating the importance of girlfriends. There are just things that friends provide for your soul that you can't get from a spouse. This is not to say that Tom is not my perfect mate, because he is. He is exactly what I need in a partner. I am just saying that Sarah, and all of my other girlfriends for that matter, offer something to me emotionally that my partner can't.

After reading the above paragraphs, I am thinking that you're thinking that I'm pretty lucky to have such a friend. You are thinking that friends like that are hard to find. You're right. I am lucky; and friends like Sarah are hard to find.

Now, would it change the way you felt about my friend if you knew that she is gay? Would you think less of my friendship?

I hope not.

Right now, in our country, there are so many things that Sarah cannot do specifically because she is gay. How can this be true? How can such a smart, funny, amazing person not fall in love and get married without harassment? How can it be AGAINST THE LAW for her to pursue joy? Now, I know that marriage isn't for everyone, and who am I to say that Sarah even wants to get married? I understand that it's not a goal for some people. But how can the option not even be there for a person? How can our government decide who Sarah should love? It just doesn't make sense.

I don't know if this post is flowing very well. I have some pretty strong feelings on this subject and it's hard to get my brain to organize everything I really want to say. That said - Just like you can't judge a book by it's cover, you can't judge a person by their sexuality.

Studies show that if you know someone in your personal life that is gay, then you are more likely to be open to gay rights. So, if you don't know someone who is gay (highly unlikely) then imagine that your brother is gay. Or your daughter, uncle, cousin or best friend is. Now, imagine telling them that they do not have the same rights as you do, simply because they are a homosexual. How can that be? How can you love a person less because of it?

I know that many of you could come to me with many reasons why you think, the Bible thinks or society thinks that being gay is some how a bad thing. Obviously, you will not be convincing me. My love for Sarah comes from a higher place then you can understand. This blog is my only platform for change. It is the only place that I can put what I believe to be true out there for the world to see. I know that I have fewer than 100 readers so I doubt that my little blog is going to do much to change my community. But, this issue is important enough that if I open just one reader's mind a tiny bit in love, then I did something. One tiny step in the right direction. Believe it or not, the world is changing. Someday I hope that you find yourself on my side of the issue...because that is where love resides.